Heart, we will forget him!

This is an art song based of off Emily Dickinson's Heart, we will forget him!

I tried several things in this piece.
It is for voice and piano, two instruments( well you know what I mean) that I am not comfortable writing for.

After several people rightly pointed out in my Kyrie that the music did not always fit the text, I was careful to write a melodic line that matches the text, and that it is singable. I was also careful to make sure the music fits the mood of the poem. It is in major, but with a fair amount of dissonance, because the poem is about forgetting a loved one, but that it is still good to fee love even though it may be painful at times.

I have recently been learning more about harmony, and I tried in this piece to utilize a lot of secondary dominants.

Also, I put in some triplets. I have never really used triplets in a piece before, and I think they turned out well.

That's about it, I believe the range of the voice would fit an alto.

Newest Version

score

mp3

Just a quick notational error in measure 15. Your missing your second beat. Its there, sure, but its not notated and it needs to be. It should be written 8th, 8th-tie-8th, 8th, Q, Q. (Bold being the missing beat)

Ah, yes. I always forget about showing the beats. I fixed it, thanks.

I will be back to listen, I promise.
I'm right in the middle of something, but I WILL be back.
Im very excited to hear.

Ok I got back quicker than I thought.

Before I go through and do a little nit-picking, i must say overall its a very nice piece, nice melody and a nice balance between the voice and piano. And I feel like the piano part is so together a lot. Maybe try seperating it, it will lighten it up a little bit. Just a thought.

Now, a few things. For me, the piece is just to happy for text. The text has this dark quality that i would have brought out more. Just something to think about.
At mes. 9-10 check your dashes, it should be for-get him no for_get-him
At mes. 25 tell should not be noted as te-ell it should just be tell__ with a slur over the notes you want teel to be under. Same with laging at 29.

Overall very nice. Great Job.

scott.

Thank you for the notation corrections.

I don't think the piece is particularly happy, more resolute and resigned. I think it fits the text, if one reads it in that way, and also she is not unhappy about the love, but rather the loss of it. If that makes any sense. So I like the mood of the piece as is, but I definently get where you are coming from.

Do you mean the close voiced chords in the piano? I like those, I think it makes the piece heavy, and I think that heaviness fits the mood I am trying to convey.

Thanks again for the listen.

Well if thats all what you were going for, than great, you got it.

You should place dynamics and such -above- the vocal staff. Also, take care of the collisions throughout the score.

Nice work. Some interesting harmonic work in the piano (is that a maj7 chord I see? )!

Hey this might be recorded soon, so anymore comments are appreciated.

I've uploaded the newest version that reflects some changes.

Chris,

Nice work! I think your melodic writing is very, very good. I do think your harmony, (namely of course in the piano) could be done much better. Some passages flow nicer than others, and I think its your "interesting" chords that throw the piece off. Yes, its good that you're veering off from the norm, but I actually think some of the chords on here are a little uncalled for and a more conventional one would honestly sound better. An example of this would be the chord on measure 16. Also, you have some clashing going on in measure 7 with C and E in the bass and C and F in the treble, and I think this would sound better as CDF or as a G7 instead of the maj7 chord you have that really does make it look and sound like a harmonic mistake. Measure 2, I don't understand the lack of harmony in that measure, you put some notes underneath it later in the piece, and that sounded nicer, I would replace that measure with the corresponding accompanied one .

Other than the harmonic "deficiencies"...well I probably shouldn't call them that, but, you know what I mean, you don't do too much with your material in terms of development, but then again, songs are notorious for this, so I'll let it slide. Nice work all in all! I was going to say that it was much too repetitive, but then after the 7th repeat, I realized the player had it on loop .

Nice job, good luck on the recording!
Nico