Help me oh God

This is a piece I dearly wrote for my beloved choir. The words I wrote for this piece as well as the music imply desire to meet a God almost forgotten. I did it for the sake of rescuing my faith and for Him. I used ABCA form and transposed to a couple of keys. I didn't use any specific compositional technique other than respecting the rules in classical writing. It took me about 4 days and probably I came 3 or 4 times to change a couple of things. the text reads as follow:

my life seems to fade of help me find the way to get him back again
with jesus I feel so renew, but roses sing a sad song; tears drop my god
o what do my eyes look on this earth;I don't seem to understand
is it the evil? it just makes me tremble;l need you
I am so lost ;I need of jesus, and if I behave well he will listen to my prayers
Dear god I have come to ask you to restore my life and love for you
God I found you; no more tears
I rejoice and live in peace with you

This piece could take a whole different meaning depending on whether or not you say the title with a serious or sarcastic tone...

It seemed to be playing bassoons and flutes... is that what you intended, or is something wrong with the file?

I liked your chord progressions around 2:00.
I especially liked the final resolution - good choice of voice leading here.

However, much of this wasn't rhythmically engaging - I felt the rhythms were a tad monotonous. You should really try out rhythms that aren't divisible by two - polyrythms can give a lot of interest to a piece. For example, eighths against triplets can really enliven a piece. Just a suggestion for the future.... I really don't know if that would apply here or not.

You should add some dynamics in here - that too can help with the expression in the piece.

Good work, this was very pretty overall.

I like the passing dissonances at the end and the beginning, and how you manage to pull them off without losing the tonality of the piece. However, at around :50 I think the piece starts to digress. The part around 1:10 sounds plain horrible. I get the feeling you were throwing in random harmonies in the middle of this piece. The ending is passible, although rather cliche sounding.

I see potential, but overall I did not enjoy this piece. Sorry.

This piece could take a whole different meaning depending on whether or not you say the title with a serious or sarcastic tone...

I regrett I did intentionally for the purpose of gaining my faith back though I like your idea (me and my "evil spirit")

[/quote] It seemed to be playing bassoons and flutes... is that what you intended, or is something wrong with the file? [/quote]
Unfortunately I don't have access to finale. I use notepad and I wanted it sound like chorus so I arranged the piece for 2 bassoons and 2 flutes. I will change that arragement for oboe,flute,clarinet in Bb, and Bassoon.

[/quote] I liked your chord progressions around 2:00.
I especially liked the final resolution - good choice of voice leading here.[/quote]
...I will consider that for my future pieces.

[/quote] However, much of this wasn't rhythmically engaging - I felt the rhythms were a tad monotonous. You should really try out rhythms that aren't divisible by two - polyrythms can give a lot of interest to a piece. For example, eighths against triplets can really enliven a piece. Just a suggestion for the future....
really don't know if that would apply here or not. [/quote]
I Absolutely agree, I have to say I was trying to use syllabic rather than mellismatic form for this piece. I will keep your advice though.

[/quote] You should add some dynamics in here - that too can help with the expression in the piece. [/quote]
Yep as soon as I have the chance I will make another midi with different instruments and a couple of creccendos and Pianos.

Thanks for the feedback.

I like the passing dissonances at the end and the beginning, and how you manage to pull them off without losing the tonality of the piece. However, at around :50 I think the piece starts to digress. The part around 1:10 sounds plain horrible. I get the feeling you were throwing in random harmonies in the middle of this piece. The ending is passible, although rather cliche sounding.

I see potential, but overall I did not enjoy this piece. Sorry.

Very sincere from your side.
Thank you!

this piece seems to have nice passages but in its whole i found it a bit random, and quite disjointed from the meaning of its text. the text is highly dramatic but there is nothing like that in the music save 2 or 3 poignant descending lines at 1:12 and on. but i think that this is not enough for a good illustration of the plethora of contrastant feelings you display in the text. i guess you could manage to produce some unexpected changes of key or in the chords' leading and resolutions to exemplify your inner changes from fear, solitude and despair to such deep confidence and happiness. there are few dynamic or rhythmic changes too, making this whole piece a plain and steady horizontal frieze instead of a moving set of mountains and valleys as we could expect from the lyrics. maybe it would be interesting for you to listen to Gesualdo's Tenebrae, where in half a dozen bars he moves from hell to heaven and back again.

These is sort of an experimental piece....with very uncommon transitions and modulations