Kyrie eleison

i wrote this before a couple of hours.
i would like to read what do you thing. you can find the lyrics in the sibelius file!!

Why would a Kyrie be scored for a String Quartet? (Unless you want a singer to double the first violin's line.)

Also, this is just half dozen bars long: you can't blame the text, obviously.

EDIT: How can the last piece of text under the last note be an "n"? ,You want the singer to go "Hnnnnnnnnnn!"

yes thats the idea!! the violin would be replaced with a singer. i don't really understand what do you mean about the "n" at the end bu i made a small change at the end check it and tell me what do you mean becouse a don't really get it!!

thank you!!

That's fixed: correct.

This would never do as a movement by itself: try developing a little bit and qadding a 'Christe' middle section, perhaps in the relative major, C. This is only seconds long.

The piece needs and intro, you start out with too much motion.Usually when I think of Kyrie I usually think placid and calm with some tension that will build. (is it suppose to be eleven seconds?)

here!!! i foloued your advises and made some improvments!!! i hope you like it!!!

Much better, Kartapanis! You know, that's perfect to be used at a real Mass service: now everything you have to do is copy the Kyrie Eleison section and post it next to the Christe you just finished, thus making it ABA. Then it will be done! (Of course, you can always redo it again if you feel like it.)