Caffeinated Composer
Group: Moderators
Joined: 25-August 05
Posts: 3,840
Member Number: 145
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I can't get your file to work in Sibelius, so I'm just squinting with Scorch and trying to read what's there.
Bar 2 - your crotchets in the bass and the ties at the end of the bar go a little too far in obscuring the sense of 6/8.
Bar 4 - both violin and viola resolve to the Eb, creating some unnecessary dissonances, and sounding clumsy (because they both go to the Eb).
Bars 4 and 5 - your chord (from bottom up) Bb C Eb is a 7th chord in 3rd inversion, making the bass note a dissonance. Dissonant notes usually resolve downards by step, especially in these chords. Your Bb really should move to an Ab (or at least pass through one).
In a 20th c. tonal context (which the melody can be seen to imply), you needn't necessarily worry as much about this, but your preceding bar is pretty traditional - and you need to be consistent about the ways in which you resolve dissonances. For now, just be aware that this chord is a dissonance. Perhaps experiment with 7th chords and their inversions. (we can go over this in here if you'd like)
There are a couple of nice less traditional bits here in the bass-line, but you tend to confuse these with your alto. This is why I wanted just a bass-line - if you focus on getting a strong bass, filling in the middle part will be easier. As it is, you're using the middle part to cover up the places where the bass is weak.
Bar 7 - last beat - I don't understand this fourth. A fourth is a dissonance, and must be resolved. The upper part does not fall to a resolution, so don't put in a D in the bass part. If you were wanting to use quartal harmony, then using a C in the viola might have helped, or something similar (A in the bass). However, you haven't used any so far, so bringing it in now would be inconsistent.
Bar 8 - your going from melody with quavers accompaniment in 6/8 to (what is practically) a homophonic 3/4 bar is very ungainly. You should probably keep some faster motion in there. It is always a good idea to prepare changes like this, so that they don't appear random. Whether these changes be changes of metre, note values, homophony/heterophony, or anything else, preparation is necessary.
Watch for parallels throughout.
I think I'd like you to remove the inner part, so that we can properly work on the bass-line. I did tell you not to write an inner part until the bass was complete, and, as I thought, the viola is distracting you from creating an effective bass.
Creating an effective bass-line is one of the most important things in all types of music, and it really is lesson worth learning (not that I am fully equipped to teach it, but I certainly am constantly heeding my own advice - trying to better myself at creating good bass-lines). It is also a lesson with bearing throughout all composition you're doing in the real world (not just in practise and assignments and lessons). If you can bring it into your real music, then that's one large step on the path of improvement.
I want you to remove the alto, and re-post the exercise with amendments.
Things I'm looking for:
- contrary motion between bass and soprano;
- harmony implied by these two outer voices;
- consistency (of rhythm, harmony, use of dissonances. This also includes preparing 'new' occurences, as mentioned above.)
Again, some of the melody will make it almost impossible to use traditional progressions, so if you capitulate to this, you must use non-traditional progressions throughout.
None of these things necessarily is an absolute (e.g., contrary motion is a 'usual' thing, not an 'always' thing), but certainly bear them in mind.
Would you mind posting the next exercise as a PDF, as well as whatever else? I'm having trouble with your files, and I'd like at least to be able to see the notes clearly.
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Mar 30 2008, 4:58 PM
.... so.... it will probably be next week before I can work on this. But when I do post it I will make sure to include a pdf. Would you like for me to also include a midi?
Linear Mode
