For Monika - solo pianoforte version

Hallo friends,
I present the piano version of it, I hope some of you will like it. Feel free to comment if you like.
P.

Sheet music
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Mp3
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This is a wonderful piece and I liked it very much. The harmony was recursive, but it wasn't too boring or trite. Perhaps some variation would make this piece even better?

Musically, it is great, but the performance was maybe a bit too "wet" and impassive. But this is just a minor point.

This is indeed very beautiful. I love the harmonic development. It's quit straitforward harmonicly, but nonetheless very admospherical and evocative. It could fit right into a nice romantic movie.

this IS actually quite pretty.

I'd like to make a few comments about voice leading, counterpoint and harmony.

a few things DO bug me. the first major thing is measure 5-6. The sudden stop of 8th notes in the left hand doesn't work for me. I understand that the right hand is all 8ths, but still, it brings the momentum to a sudden halt.

now, a more serious issue is that right there, 1st beat of measure 5, you come to a unison C between right and left hands. It sounds "empty".

Worse yet, the entire next measure is basically parallel octaves between the hands. Yes, they are all "off set" by half a beat or so, but they are still perfectly noticable. We get C at the beginning of measure 5, then a G at the end of that measure, then the B in measure 6, and a G at the end of emasure 6... it's just all a bit too empty sounding.

At measure 10, is there ANYTHING you could do to avoid having that D in the left hand? because there again we have unison between the two hands, and it takes away a great deal from the beautiful and rather unusual harmony you used.

Consider creating "internal melody".
Measure 12, for example, you could change the fourth 8th note of the left hand to an A, then the Bb at the end to an Eb.
This makes a nice suspension "A down to G" in a middle voice. It also places this as a "countermelody" on the weak beats. that adds more interest to the music which is already quite simple.
You would ahve to change your right hand so the last note is an A instead of that repeated G.


Measure 17.. do NOT put a D major chord in your right hand! there's no reason for it there. you're giving away the punch of what follows... it GOES to D major in the next measure, why give it away in advance?

Measures 21-24, would you consider changing the bass notes to:
1st beats of all those measures - A - B - C#!!! - C natural! - then

measure 25... put a 1st inversion chord! surprise your audience! have a B in the bass.
measure 26, bass part, repeat beat 1-2 one octave higher on beats 3-4.

measure 27, consider starting the left hand one octave higher, and start with a G7 arpeggio, not F major.
That way, the beautiful Eb (C minor) that follows comes as a beautiful unexpected resolution to the dominant 7th.


The minor section is a nice middle section, but I would avoid using your main theme in the minor. It's pretty, but it seems a bit too "oh no, not that theme again". How about reversing the direction of the theme? using a mirror? or an inversion?


Over all this is a very pretty little piece, a bit new-agey, but still nice.

Thank you guys for your nice comments!
Of course I cannot change the score everytime somebody likes od dislikes some part of it, but your suggestions help me to improve me in the next pieces because in this way I have feedback how the music is affecting you.