Need composition feedback

Hi all,
http://media.putfile.com/compos54 -12.9mb, 1:04
May someone give some feedback on this?
This link has my composition. The composition itself is longer, but it basically repeats the same thing in another octave. In the video, the first part ends where I want to add something (end of 'B' section). Following are three alternative methods of playing the piece, which basically plays with the left hand part.

Technical:
Bb-C-D-Eb-F-G-A-Bb
A- B-flat major.
B- Parralel minor (same thing as Bb major, except key starts at D)

Hope to use G melod minor (starts on G, retains flats)

I can give the essential chord progression if necessary

Thanks!
Dennis

Note: I'm sorry that the music is in avi format and the quality is bad. I can't work midi-notations and the only thing I have is a webcam