Octet after Stravinsky for Strings & Wind

Okay, so this is my first time posting here.

I started writing this piece for 8 instruments about a week ago, and haven't really added anything since then. What you hear is about 2 evenings' work. It's in the style of Stravinsky. I even quote him in a place or two. (is that allowed?!).

Any comments/suggestions on it so far would be greatly appreciated.

First of all, welcome to YC!!

your piece is fresh to my ears and very colorful. I like your material as well as your evenness of the instruments (i.e. they all play an important role) i havent listened to that much Stravinsky, but from what ive heard you seem to be able to grasp his style as well as put your own authenticity into it! Nice work!

however, this piece seems largely unfinished to me. if it is an unfinished work, it belongs in the incomplete works section. if you want some advice on how to expand it, i would continue with your "B" section you have going on, after the repeat that it. i would give it stronger roots in the melody, but idk, maybe you did that as in i cant really tell because of the midi. the rhythm seems to outweigh it.

if this is completed in your eyes, then so be it, like i said i enjoyed this immensely, especially your rhythm. i strongly urge you to continue writing this piece, its definitly a different flavor then some of the works i have heard here. If youve planned out a form for it, i would be interested in seeing it, otherwise, if i were you i would have some type of form in mind, it gets past some writers block issues (for me at least)

All in all, very nice work! i gave it 4 listens. 1 to hear your music, 2 to figure out my comment, then the other 2 because i just enjoyed it! Again, welcome to YC, you surely have talent and i hope to hear more of your work

Vince

err yes, sorry thanks for your comments, it is clearly unfinished.

i didnt realise there was an incomplete works' section...

is a moderator about to hit me with his moderation-stick?

Wow,

I really enjoyed this piece. It seems that each instrument has its own role, in an idiom that is largely avoided in this forum. I agree that the second theme given has a lot of development potential. Maybe some modal changes of the thematic material will create interest.

Oh.. and... Vince.... you might want to check your math...

Rautavaara,

You've got some very good ideas. I really like what you're doing with your rhythm and there's some good melodic material there. A suggestion, at bar 22, you have all three wids in unison. This sort of doubling may work in an orchestral tutti passage, but generally in this sort of chamber music environment, lengthy unison passages don't work too well. If you want to use all three tone colours, I would recommend splitting off the three instruments into a chord of some sort on the higher notes as well as the Eb at the end of the passage. I think it will give a better effect (in my opinion anyway. It's your piece, and you can do what you want). Also in the passage at bar 38, you have scored both violins, the cello, and the viola very similar registers, while the 1st violin and cello are carrying separate melodies and the other two instruments are playing harmoies. It will be difficult to distinguish the melody without a significant dynamic contrast between harmony and melody lines, seeing as you have four separate lines, all with similar tone colours, all in similar registers. I would recommend moving the first violin up and octave and possibly even giving its line to the flute. The cello in its high register is a great effect, but I'm not sure it would work here. I'm pretty sure you can put it up another octave and still have it in the cello's range (don't quote me on it though) although you would probably have to use harmonics, which tend to sound thin. It might work though. Alternatively you could give the cello line to the clarinet.

Anyways, it's sounding very good, and very refreshing. Keep working on it.

Great stuff going on in this piece, I won't talk about style or anything, you're doing some interesting stuff. I only have one comment.

Don't ever ever ever do what you did twice in the cello part like at m. 38. First of all, a string player really can't slur into a double stop like that. Also, just the notational aspect of having a tie to one string and a slur to the other. MAYBE if the bottom note was an open string (which this isn't) that maybe be okay, but it still looks sloppy. This is the dangers of technology and "computer composition". I would strongly suggest that you study up on your orchestration and knowledge of string instruments if you aren't a string player or haven't written for them before.

Actually, now that i'm thinking about it, I don't think a C4-Bb4 double stop is possible on the cello at all, don't quote me on that though. That's a pretty high position on the cello, as I believe the top note you really want to have your average cellist doing is C5 (2 semitones from Bb4..) The Gb3-F4 might be awkward too. Again, please check all your multiple stops so you don't make your string players mad.

Classical Sax - Thanks for your comment. The melody you're talking about. I can see where you are coming from. I may take the trumpet off that line. And the dense strings bit... that's how I want it. I havent done enough dynamics here yet. It is unfinished after all.

Moonwoman - I undertand your reservations, but I know what I am doing. I generally want exactly what I have written. I do understand the working of strings. I played violin a few years ago. A c4-Bb4 double stop on the cello is possible, and string players tell me it is pefectly fine to slur onto a double stop. Have a look at any Bach solo string partita.