Official January Results thread PART II!!!

M_is_D
Juji's Review of M_is_D's Piece: http://freewebs.com/jujehmufeh/january/COMMENT_-_Variations_on_Fado_de_Fogaceiras.pdf

Morivou's Review:
1. Form (5)
-Did they use at least 4 variations?
Yes.
-Is the theme strong?
Yes.
2. Development (5)
-Does the piece flow?
Yes, it flows very nicely; you have a VERY good ear! Keep it up!
3. Notation (4.25)
-The score is laid out correctly.
For the entirety of Variation 1, when you have the piano part playing 1 note per measure, please get rid of the excess rests, and this goes for the entire piece but mainly here. (-1/2 pt.)
-The score is neat, and is effective and practical for real life usage.
In measure 25, the piano part seems unplayable… and I don’t think anybody less than a virtuoso could. (That is impractical because of all the hand switching that would be involved. MAYBE you could play the entire lower part with the left hand and the entire upper part with the right hand, so I will take off only a quarter of a point for something as obscure as that. (-1/4 pt.)
Variation 4 is very messy, but that is O.K. (No points off)
4. Compliance with the Rules (3.75)
-Everything required is turned in and filled out properly and is correct.
• When you submit the composition, you must show what techniques each of the variations used (yes, that means you need to think of techniques to use when making the variation, don't just slap it on the page! GRR!! PLAN PEOPLE PLAN!!)
It said to PLEASE plan and do not just rely on what sounds good. That was part of the original rules set down… (-1.25) That was a big part of this exercise/contest.
5. Instrumentation (5)
-Ranges of Instruments is used correctly.
Yup, I assume you know what to do at the violin. And, the piano was fine.
-General instrumentation rules are followed.
Yessir, looks good.

TOTAL POINTS FROM MORIVOU:
23/25

General Comments:
Sounds good, I enjoyed it a lot. Everything I needed to say criticism-wise has been done in the rubric.

Alan's Review:
Variations on Fado das Fogaceiras by Tomas Costa (M is D)

Firstly, nice tune you have picked for this competition! It has enough variety to be able to make variations on.

At measure twenty-five, many a good pianist would wonder why the heck the composer wrote a second voice way above the accompaniment, and most importantly, how the hell do I play both? The simple answer is no, and they will either come to you to find out, or they will just not play the top part.

Also, for your first variation, can you PLEEASE put bars on those eighth notes? It is very nauseating for a player to read those after having read barred notes the whole time! On the same note, in the Piano part, you have a quarter note, and four eighth notes. While this is correct, it is hard to count all those eighth notes at that tempo,and will fluster a sight-reading pianist. Trust me I know- My piano teacher is a sight-reading pianist, and she would have to look twice to get a hold of that. Just use a quarter note, and eighth note, and a dotted quarter rest. SOO much easier.

This isn’t a problem, but I want to mention it to you- In your second variation, the pianist is going to be scrambling in the left hand in order to reach those chords and arpeggios, and still keep the beat. Just something to point out to you.

OMG At measure 157, how do you expect a pianist to play that with one hand? I think it could be possible, but I doubt anyone will want to play your pieces anymore…

You have a beautiful piano part at 200, but once again, the pianist is going to be hopping around a lot. Also like before, this is not a big problem, and in this case, the tempo is slow enough that you don’t really have to worry that much, but I felt you should hear it from me.

HOLY- your variations never cease to amaze me! Starting at 219, you did the right thing by giving me speed right out of the blue! I won’t comment on how hard this is, as you probably already know. Ah, I’ll just list the things I noticed anyway.
PS- You have a playback error in this measure.

For one, it is HELL when you start adding the harmonics!

In measure 240, you have glissandos that are impeccably high for the D string. While these are possible, it requires you to stretch way towards the player’s chin. In general, you should avoid glissandos on one string if the exceed an octave, but I made that up.

Fortunately, the piano part is fully playable at 219 onwards.

Overall comments-

You made good use of special tech in the violin. A few pizzicato, lots of double-stops, and a few harmonics. However, I could’ve liked to hear a few different chords in the piano at some point or another. It gets awfully repetitive.

In general, your score was a bit scattered. Crescendo marks collide, as well as the variation names. This could’ve been fixed, and your score is going to suffer for it. Sorry.

As always, your variations are incredible on the Violin. I’m pleased to have heard this piece!

Final score- I’m using most of the same standards as I did for the New Year’s Competition, but obviously meeting the standards of this competition.

Variation interest- 9
Harmonic interest- 7
Progression- 7
Use of Instruments- 8
Score layout- 5

Final Score-

36/50

->

72/100

xXCransworthxX's Review:
FINAL SCORING:

1. Form (4)
-Did they use at least 4 variations? Yep!
-Is the theme strong? Some parts I didn't think were great, but they weren't bad. They were good enough to get by. They were more person (like the trill in m.28, for example. I don't think it went well).

2. Development (3)
-Does the piece flow? The transition from the theme to the first variation didn't transition well. The fast 6/8 feel came somewhat suddenly. Variation 2's and 3's transition was very smooth! Good job with that. 4's what also a little bit sudden. The one into 5 was nice, too, but the ending came somewhat suddenly.

3. Notation (4)
-The score is laid out correctly.
-The score is neat, and is effective and practical for real life usage.
The eight notes should be tied in threes when in 6/8.
RESTS INFO: Three 8th rests require a dotted quarter rest. When you have only two 8th rests, it depends. If the rest is over beats 1+2 or 4+5, you use a quarter rest. Otherwise you would use two 8th rests. (So, for example if it is on beats 5+6, you would use two 8th rest.)

4. Compliance with the Rules (5)
-Everything required is turned in and filled out properly and is correct.
I don't see anything wrong....

5. Instrumentation (5)
-Ranges of Instruments is used correctly.
-General instrumentation rules are followed.
Once again, everything seems good. It sounds like Garritan sounds, so ranges are probably right. I didn't see any incorrect ranges.

Overall Score: 21/25

TOTAL: 79.5/100



Enigmus

Juji's Review:
http://freewebs.com/jujehmufeh/janua...rowns_Body.pdf

Morivou's Review:
1. Form (5)
-Did they use at least 4 variations?
Yes.
-Is the theme strong?
Yup, it is as strong as you can get; haha.
2. Development (4)
-Does the piece flow?
Yes, the only comment is the shift form the last variation to the statement of the theme. It is a little out of nowhere, work on that, please.
1. Notation (5)
-The score is laid out correctly.
You got it!
-The score is neat, and is effective and practical for real life usage.
Yep!
2. Compliance with the Rules (5)
-Everything required is turned in and filled out properly and is correct.
Got those points too.
3. Instrumentation (4.5)
-Ranges of Instruments is used correctly.
Yes.
-General instrumentation rules are followed.
Yes. Except, in the orchestration realm, be sure to allow those strings some consonant harmony in the first variation (The minor one).

TOTAL POINTS FROM MORIVOU:
23.5/25

General Comments:
At about 4:20, you quoted “Silent Night”??? haha! Great job, I have nothing to say here in the criticism realm. The only thing is, some of your string harmonies get muddy, see if you can’t make them (if not more consonant) less jumbled. Good job!

xXCransworthXx's Review:
Theme and Variation 1:
Very good opening. It gets my attention, and then the strings go down for the horn solo. There are some things that I personally would change, like using grace notes in m. 28 instead of the triplet, but that's really just my opinion. You sure like your dynamics. I like the transition, but the accel. isn't really great. It doesn't go very well with everything else. Maybe you could have done a rit. into it. It just seems too sudden and too fast.

Variation 2:
Good choice of second variation. I like the lilt effect that the strings and horn give. The cresc. at m. 55 seem to be a little bit too sudden. It would probably give it a nice effect if the crescendos waited another beat. Overall, it's very joyful. I like it.

Variation 3:
Good! I love waltz themes. It's about time those basses get some melodies! There is something about the pause in m. 78 that is a little bit odd. However, you handled the bass melody very well. The transition from the basses to the horn was good. The pizz. is......cute.... I like how you took it back into a dark-sounding section before going to variation 4.

Variation 4:
I'm not a big fan of 5/8. I'm more of a 7/8 kind of guy. 5/8 is still cool, though. I like the mixture and blending of the arco and pizz. in this section. It adds a mysterious texture to the piece. Nice horn solo thing in the 3/8 bar. Everything else after that is put together fairly well.

End:
Nice chordal way to open up your ending.Broadly section is very good. It feels like everything is coming together nicely. There are a few dynamic things that seem a little bit sudden. Maybe think about not making them so drastic. Overall, Very good!


1. Form (4.5)

2. Development (4.5)

3. Notation (4.5) ..... there are some problems like having a poco rit. and not telling where it stop it.

4. Compliance with the Rules (5)

5. Instrumentation (5)


Overall Score: 23.5

Alan's Review:
I’m intrigued how you are taking this melody and putting it to a classical string orchestra. However, I’m not that pleased with the chords you are using- there are a few points within only a few measures of the horn entering that I hear some chords that I don’t feel belong. Perhaps you should’ve started off giving me what I wanted to hear (Like the slightly upbeat version everyone hears), THEN move onto this. In this way, you will be able to do that, but you can still have the benefit of your listener catching onto what you are doing.

One thing that drives me nuts about your first variation is that you replaced the A-natural with an A-flat. There is nothing wrong with this, but I would kinda like to hear the RIGHT melody before you go torturing it. 

Also, there are times when you could use better chords- sometimes they grate like nails on chalkboard!

At A, Violas have a double-stop that is kind of tricky. Are you sure you meant for it to be Divisi?

Nice transition to the next variation! Not only that, but nice change of heart from the sombre section.

At measure 52, is that playable on the horn?? I’m no expert, but from what I know, sixteenth notes at that tempo usually give players I know a fit- notes don’t want to speak, and tonguing is impossible… but I know you play horn, and I trust you wouldn’t write it if it wasn’t possible. I’ll keep that section in mind as I listen.

I don’t know what level of orchestra players you intended to write for, but I’ll let you know that the chromatics in measure 65 are gonna be tricky, but nowhere near impossible.

Do you really need the divisis on you arpeggios in measure 69? The Violas could just as easily take the bottom part. The reason I am bringing this to your attention is because you are going to get a thinner sound out of a divisi, and I would’ve liked to hear more of the top part.

Nice transition to the third variation. However, you have (off the string) written in the upper strings. You COULD also use the term spiccato, abbreviated spicc., but if you want to use that, that’s fine.

Did you intend on writing Haydn’s Toy Symphony in this section?? Why the two-beat rest in measure 79? Why the basses on the melody as opposed to the cello? I’m curious as to your thought process- it sounds like the players just dropped all their music or something, and take two beats to pick up the pages they need. ROFL!!

Also, is the Cello playing divisi in measures 92 and 94? That would be a tricky double-stop, and it would be more than likely louder than the B-flat before it… and yet you don’t have it marked as Divisi.

…Do you realize how obnoxious those pizzicatos are that come in on the and-of-two that pop up everywhere? This won’t count against your score (as there are plenty more annoying things out there), but I want to let you know.

You have many instances where you have very fast notes in the horn without so much as a slur, and at measure 109, I KNOW the horn can’t play those 32nd notes tongued!! That may affect your score.

Nice way to finish off the variation. Nice dark section you have added!

For sake of MIDI, The horn needs to be louder and the strings need to be softer at 146. There are times when I cannot hear the horn at ALL.

In measure 166, you need to make it more clear that the basses have a divisi. While you DO have a pizz. Symbol over one note and an arco symbol over the other, it will still help to write divisi, just in case.

Ah, sweet melody at letter I! It’s about time the audience hears the melody in it’s original context!

Overall comments- there are times when I wonder about the chords and the tonguing required in the Horn, but it’s all worth it when you finally hear the melody as it is meant to be heard.

Score-

Variation interest- 9
Harmonic interest- 8
Progression- 8
Use of Instruments- 8
Score layout- 6

39/50 -> 19.5/25

TOTAL: 86/100

THE WINNER IS ENIGMUS...

His prize is Bragging rights... and a pat on the back! Great job!!