FL,
Since you haven't yet received input on your piece, I've decided to share with you a lot of "little things" that I hear. I know you've got to turn this project in soon, so I'm fine if you just want to read the praise and ignore the suggestions.
I thought, however, that if I gave you a bunch of things to think about (especially since you said this piece was the biggest thing you've attempted so far), you could get some different perspective and some new ideas to think about for your next work. In other words, please don't be overwhelmed and understand that my only motive here is to help you learn. I'm not ripping your piece to shreds; I really think it's quite good, as I think you'll see in what I have to say.
OVERALL:
The style you employ is very minimalistic, or, in other words, composed of sequences/repetitions of small fragments of melody or harmony. This can be a great technique, especially used in film music. A lot of my comments below, though, challenge you to strike a balance between minimalism and more distinct harmonic/melodic direction (change from the patterns you set up to make the lines "go somewhere" even more effectively). As it stands, your piece is certainly interesting to listen to, but more shaping will increase the "convincing-ness" (if I can coin a word) of your writing. I think you'll see what I mean as you read.
- At 1:03 (the time of the clip), you've created a nice climax to this section. I like how the big held chords (what instrument, I don't know) hold over into the next section with fast-moving (string?) notes. Perhaps you can make the held chords change more and form a kind of slow new melody over the strings (that repeat the fast stuff from the beginning).
- I think you should consider 1:42 the end of a section. Those quiet string notes create a nice finish. Then, when you start with the new melody after 1:42, I would not come back in so soon with the orchestra taking over the melody and going to the fast-moving notes again. I would wait and do a little more solo because it creates a nice break from the full, busy sound of the beginning.
- 1:50 has a nice line that is stacked up in different voices. You know that lines which fit together in intervals of a 4th create what's called "quartal" (just means 4th) harmony. Although this is a modern music technique, for the most part you use it well (it fits the harsh subject of the book); you just want to be careful about over-using it, and you might want to try more regular chords built of 3rds.
- 2:07--YES! This is a great texture: moving notes underneath + big, spacious notes on top. That's what I was suggesting you increase in my first comment on 1:03. I also love how you change the harmony in this section 2 times around 2:16 (you keep the same 2 long melody notes all 3 times, but I think it works).
- The heavily repeated rhythm at around 2:40 perhaps could use some variation, but at 3:00 the string melody was a nice change and had a good shape to it (wasn't the same thing over and over).
- The bell melody and countermelody at 3:00 was well done; keep in mind this kind of interesting writing for other sections when you add more voices (I thought perhaps this was in the "Clarise" section...).
- 3:30--the build with the repeated bass notes and short string idea worked well. I'd be even more flexible not to just "copy/paste" your melody ideas. Get creative and try to let your ear guide you to create more than just a uniform shape (this is like a straight line all the way up; natural beauty is irregular, like a human face, and I know you'll hear that if you try
).
- 4:18--You just need to know that all these diminished 7th chords create a feeling of extreme tension, because you play one after the other, not letting any of them relax/resolve. If you're portraying an extreme disgust/horror, then all this tension may be appropriate, but use discretion.
- 4:55-5:30--It's places like this where I hear that you have a great ear. You resolved the diminished 7th tension by sustaining a chord and letting a solo spot move us to more relaxed harmony. Great work!
- 5:30-49--even though you used the downward-moving 3rds a lot here, the different instruments playing it gave variety; perhas you could add more stuff underneath to give some more interest. Slowing down the 3rds towards the end of this section is a very good technique that accomplishes the end of the section beautifully.
- 4:55; 6:25--just listen here for some perhaps unintentional dissonances in the melody against the chords; you want to make sure your melody fits into the harmonic background you've created. Trust your ear again.
- 5:50-6:10--Again, very good contrapuntal (or interacting, stacked lines) section here. All the parts "fit together" quite nicely
- 6:14--The chord here sounds like a key change; if you stay with that here, I think it would work well. Oh, and while I'm talking about modulations/key changes:
- 6:35 is a rough change of key because you make quite a distant jump (f-->g...f minor has 4 flats and g minor has just 2; that's a very different scale and sounds like a big change). It would be fine as long as you didn't try to tie the melody over the point of change. I'd do one of two things: 1) stop the melody and restart immediately in the new key on the next phrase (it's called a
direct modulation and creates a feeling of increased energy when it moves up, like you do at this spot). Or 2) you could go to c or d chord first (because those chords fit in either key; this is called a
pivot-chord modulation because the chord helps you pivot between the 2 keys).
- 6:40 has a WONDERFUL SOUND. You use a technique (you may know this) called
planing here; that simply means your harmony here is based chords that are built on notes right next to each other (in other words, d minor-->e minor-->F Major, etc.). I'd say it's a dark, Russian sound in this case: reminds me of the Russian Easter Overture by Rimsky-Korsakov (you'll like that piece, which has a color similar to what you've gone for here).
- at the end, you hold the last note for the percussion stuff quite a long time. You need to remember that phrases should typically be "breathable/singable," in other words, don't have really long holds of melody without much else going on, because the audience will feel like they're suffocating. You are the composer though, so maybe you're going for an effect of great tension at the end.
Whew! Hope I didn't turn you off or discourage you by all that! Let me emphasize that you did a wonderful job, and I want to congratulate you on a successful painting of the book's picture (in my mind) and some really captivating sounds. I look forward to hearing more that you do!
Brooks
Feb 19 2008, 7:45 PM
Linear Mode
