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I still really love this damn piece and have been listening to it again today many times while I was on the computer. I just really like the developments though like all your work, the major criticism is repetition. Almost everything you write towards the end of the piece gets repetitious at times and I'm not fully sure of the exact reason yet because I am usually enjoyin it too much at the time to actually dwell on it and think about what's causing it. But what I think it might be is a lack of transitional material between theme groups and so instead of having fresh sounding transition material you just keep replying pieces of your themes over and over and so when the theme itself actually plays its inseparable in a sense and not as enjoyable. You claim you're not a melodist but you write some very good melodies and you shouldn't play them out, the less an excellent melody is played the more memorable it becomes because we feel like we want to stay through the whole piece just to hear it just like how I keep listening to symphony #30 over and over just to hear the last crazy coda at the end.
Anyhow, I suggest you try in your next piece to do a little more planning and have a layout of a good sonata form in your head so that you can fill lin the themes and the transition material as appropriate. I think most of the problems of yours can be fixed by more planning and concentration since I know you rarely plan and just dive right into the composition which is acceptable and expectable at your age but I think you're good enough where you can start taking it to the next level basically.
For example I'm listenin to this concerto right now just so I can give you a more detailed analysis of where I think it is repetitious etc. The first exposition statement is pretty good you seem to have 2 groups of themes and then it repeats again at around 1:07 (give or take) which I'm not sure why it does this? That is not proper first movement concerto form and is repetitive. Sonata form for concertos has the exposition being repeated twice but the first time is the opening entrance of all the themes in the orchestra and the 2nd repetition is the SOLOIST (i.e. piano) with the orchestra now replaying through the exposition until the development. However you have 3 expositions it seems with orchestra repeating itself twice and THEN the soloist coming in.
The reason I'm guessing you did that is for lack of material, because without that unneeded repetition you would have the soloist entering at about the 1 min mark which is kind of short for a good exposition (look at the exposition to my concerto, the soloist doesn't even enter till damn near 2 and a half minutes). So the only way to remedy that problem and correct your unneeded repetitiousness is to obviously write a longer exposition. Your piano enters at around the 2 minute mark, but it should be entering around that time with only ONE exposition behind it not 2, yet you have 2 repeats and you still only enter at 2 minutes. That is not good.
So remember, usually decent and longer expositions have 2 theme groups and often each theme group has 2 separate themes. I see you have 2 theme groups but only basically 1 theme in each one. The opening theme begins it in Eb then there's a ascending scale transition at 00:25 that leads into the new theme in Bb which I like which comes in at about 00:40. Then after that is a brief transition and your exposition is done, now for some reason you go back to the beginning again and restate the entire exposition AGAIN.
Like I said the main problem is that your exposition material is simply too short. If you want to hear a more proper one (albeit conversely slightly TOO long) look at my Mozartian concerto and see how the first theme group has 2 themes at the tonic then the 2nd group has 2 themes at the dominant and it never sounds repetive and is sufficiently long (albeit possibly slightly too long like I said). Yours is very repetitive and still clocks in at only 9 minutes, if you write a more sophisticated exposition like mine you can be guaranteed to have 12-15 min first movement that is NOT at all repetitive.
So basically like I said, the only problem you have is to lengthen the exposition material so that perhaps it does not even go to the dominant until at least 40 seconds in give or take a few. You should try to shoot for the soloist coming in at somewhere between 1 and a half to 2 and a half minutes as that is the average time for good Mozart and Beethoven concerti.
Hope that helps you let me know if you have some questions.
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Dec 23 2005, 7:29 PM
. And 14! Woah! You're gifted. I hope and bet that you'll get somewhere really far with this.
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