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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Mar 28 2008, 6:45 PM

Starving Musician
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A short piece for string trio...

Hi, this is my first piece lasting more than a few bars, it's also my first piece using sibelius. Its only 1 min. 30 sec. long. Anyway, please comment. Any advice would be nice. Thanks

I attached the PDF, unfortunately it wont accept my mp3 file.

PS I couldn't think of a title for it, so I called it Untitled.
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File Type: pdf Untitled.pdf (1.58 MB, 50 views)

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Old Mar 28 2008, 9:45 PM

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What an extremely boring cello part...an interestingly active viola part, and a sometime repetitive violin part but it seems to work Mr. Floydman, I must also congratulate you on successfully not using accidentals (Except for the first measure viola).
You establish the key with a C major chord for the first 2 beats and let the viola go loose (hence the active viola part). For the first 7 measures the cello plays 7 whole notes..the tempo is andante...this would be a bit boring for some performers...But I can see the need for this, you start the 2nd measure with a A minor chord..the cello playing an A while viola and the violin play a C and an E. The cello also has a strong part in the F major chord in which you start the 3rd measure off with, basically what I am saying is though the cello part is necessary for the bass of your chord progressions, try if you will to make it a bit more...enjoyable for the performer.

Measure 8, the cello finally gets an active part, you have another C major chord here, you sustain the E in the violin while cello and viola have moving parts in the chords of this measure. Up to measure 10, the music is the same, rhythmically wise anyway. Measure 11 you gave the violin an active part and in the next measure the music changes rhythmically once more. Everything looks fine up until the violin double stop at m. 19. Though I am a violinist and this specific note is possible to play it may sound a bit eerie or odd, since they're fifths and in the violins high registers it just may sound weird..I may be over blowing this a bit, just saying. The violin part up until measure 25 starting at 20, is a bit repetitive as I have said previously..it seems that the melody is most carried by the viola while the cello continues its rest-quarter note- rest pattern which is ok. After this I have no real comments..it seems just fine..the melody seems to be shared between the instruments more, while the cello even eliminates the rest in between the quarter notes replacing them with quarter notes. Measure 35 and 36 are the same rhythmically with all instruments and in measure 37 the last chord I cannot identify..though the A and the C makes it sound minor, coupled with the viola-violin octave unison makes the finale sound depressing indeed.

Overall Mr. Floydman I must say I enjoyed critiquing your piece today, the only thing I must comment on is the amount of uneventful parts you have in some of the instruments of the trio, try if you want or can, making them a bit more enjoyable and eventful. By the way Welcome to young composers forum, I hope you enjoy your stay

Roman,

P.S. Is there a way that you can email me or post an mp3 file in a file sharing website, I am curious to see if what I heard in my head while reviewing is in sync with what the notes actually say.
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Old Mar 29 2008, 6:10 AM

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Thanks for the comment.
Here's the mp3. Sory about the bad quality again.

Keep And Share
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Old Mar 29 2008, 8:15 PM

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This is Zippers.
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Roman covered pretty much everything.
I am unable to listen to it (it's not you it's me. lol), so this is based off the score.

the double for the violin in meas. 19, to me too, as a violinist, might sound a little odd, but keep it if that is what you are going for or if you like it,.Another option would be to drop it an octave, this would slightly lower the difficulty of the part (depending on if you use open stings or not)

An option that you might use t give the cello a bit more of an interestin part:
in measure 24-31, switch the cello and viola part. (the E in m.26 would be the one one the cello's C string (below the staff)). This too might change the color, or feel, or whatever you are going for, but it is a thought.

P.S. the length and complexity of your songs will grow as you continue. keep it up!
looks good
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Old Mar 30 2008, 12:28 AM

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The mp3 won't work for me

I did look at the score though, and from a few lookings over, these seems like a fine start, I don't know what "Romanticist" is talking about. I'm pretty sure cellists are used to "simple" parts or whatever if they've ever played any Classic era quartets, which I'm sure they have. If your concern while you're composing is, "Oh my god, my favorite instrument has too many doughnut notes :'(" then you need to find a new profession.
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Old Mar 30 2008, 9:43 AM

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Thanks for all your comments, Ill try to use them in my next piece.

Also, Im new to this website, and I was wondering how do you post mp3's so that everyone can see them. I can't post MIDI files because I only have a Demo version of Sibelius, I know I'm a bit cheap.
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Old Mar 31 2008, 12:02 PM

Starving Musician
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I made a new MySpace site just for my compositions:

MySpace.com - Floydman - NL - Classical - www.myspace.com/floydman1234

I posted an audio file there.
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