Sigh... another one I don't know what to call lol

This composition took me two days to compose. My biggest obstacle when composing was my own ability to play what I was trying to compose. I know I can play it I just would need to practice it a bit. Also, the software I used provided a few obstacles in the writing of it to sound like what I actually composed. I tried to make it sound as close as possible but finale notepad can only do so much .
This piece (when played) has much more dynamic feeling in it and there is a ritardando at the end. I might find places to add in some rubato when practicing it.
Well, have a listen and try and tell me what you think!
[attachmentid=3320]

Well, if you want me to nitpick, I can say that the rhythmic notation needs to be cleaned up a lot. It was really difficult to read. Most of the time it seemed very interesting, and it played out like an etude. However, the ending was very abrupt and I wished to have heard more development. Also, I couldn't pin down a main theme, or a melody. That's why I thought it was more like an etude. It was mostly repeated harmonic patterns, but nothing to tie them all together. Consider that with any revisions you might make with this piece.

Sean Christopher Stork
Nightengale Incorporated

the notation looks bad because of my software limitations. Also, I can't figure out how to add dynamics into my piece using finale notepad, I'm going to use anvil studio to make a midi of this piece. I can control the volume of individual notes that way so when I post that you should be able to catch the melodies. And the ending was adrupt because I can't put a ritardando in with my software... Although I have an idea for how I might be able to do that with anvil studio. Also I couldn't add in pedal with finale notepad so I had to simulate the pedal by using ties lol.
Mwahahahahaha! I escape fault!

Well, I didn't mean that the ending was rhythmically abrupt. It was harmonically abrupt. Although, I would be much more akin to a rising motion through out the entire piece, reaching a climactic moment, and then a short and powerful ending. This one just kind of ended before it really got off the ground. Also, the rhythmic pattern of that one section towards the middle (the part that was syncopated.... or atleast counter-rhythmic) I really enjoyed, and wished you would use more of that.

You're not completely out of the woods, but due to software restraints, it's understandable. If you would like, I could transcribe this piece for you to make it a little more theoretically acurate. When you're finished with it, of course. Just to lend a helping hand.

Sean Christopher Stork
Nightengale Incorporated

I must agree with Sean. It is an etude both in rhythm and harmony, and the ending is quite abrupt. Also, it is very awkward to play.

W.E. Sapphire

WHOO HOO!
There's some stuff I know how to work with.
- More syncapated rhythm, I agree, I think I'll go back and see if I can add more of that
- Harmonically abrupt, I think I understad what you mean, when played on the piano, the last chord is supposed to roll (I know there is a better word ) but I'll see if I can't do more there, I'm going to play with that a bit and see what I like

So then, would you guys recomend I call this an etude? I'm terrible with names of pieces based on form and structure and whatever else. I couldn't tell you the difference between a sonatina and a sonata lol

Ok Ok Ok!!!
I have updated the score. I added a little bit more and actually figured out some dynamics stuff so it is easier to hear the melody. However the whole ritardando thing will have to wait until I create a midi.

Here it is!
[attachmentid=3345]

Much better technically, John, and I can hear the melody more now. I think you should break this down and decide what is an A section, what is a B section, and so on. I think you could turn this into a Sonata if it had more structural discipline. As for right now, it is an etude, but it doesn't exactly serve to work on anything in particular. This is one of those works that has real potential, and you might have to tear it up beyond recognition to get the finished work to be something you really like. Great work, and much advancement from your other compositions! Keep 'em coming!

Sean Christopher Stork
Nightengale Incorporated

Wow, great piece. Nothing much to say. I just wanted to remind you ov ghyrtkdbaisdwewssnfosehfsafa. Sometimes it can be a little ddgfi sdfisadfhudfudhfsahfkdfsh. So keep up the good the work, and be sure to fix that ghyrtkdbaisdwewssnfosehfsafa!

Sorry, I was just kidding. I have nothing to say.