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Wow. A lot to take in, and a lot to comment.
First the piece itself. It was cool, interesting stuff going on, i feel a lot of Eric Whitacre techniques. From C to the end was really enjoyable. But the beginning was kinda weird, as you said a live performance would change it dramatically obviously.
Now as a person is a choir looking at it. If I was given this just as it was, I would be very confused, and if the conductor didnt know what was going on, then we would be screwed. I would encourage to either be more clear in your marking of what you want, or write a little "note from the composer" explaining what everything means, and what to do. (Eric Whitacre does this for the score of Cloudburst) ALSO you are pushing the tenor range a little to far. I mean I can hit a low A because Im a baritone, but most tenors I would can not even touch that note. You might want to rethink that.
Other than that some nice stuff going on here. would LOVE to hear a live recording.
good luck with everything.
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