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Old Aug 25 2006, 6:04 PM

Der Titan
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Joined: 25-August 06
Posts: 128
Member Number: 3611
i wrote this over the summer, not very good, but i would like to know what you guys think of these.\
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Old Aug 25 2006, 6:52 PM

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Member Number: 1051
First movement: I thought your harmonies needed to be a little more prodomanant in several sections. The melody still needs to be louder, but not by that much, it drowns out the rest. And toward the end, watch your rests, they can be good, but dont make it sound to spastic. I liked your harmonies starting at 3:51 very much, try and do more like that. Also, the climax occurs at about 4:20, according to the theory of the golden ratio (or the divine proportion) your climax should occur somewhere just before 2/3 of your song (.618033989 to be exact). Build to the climax, make the climax really good, then resolve.

Second movement: I've lost music before too. It sucks.

Third movement: Waltzes dont usually change tempo so much, or so suddenly. You write a waltz for people to dance to, if new tempos are constantly being thrown at them, it will probably make things difficult. And again, build to more of a climax. Other than that, well done.

Fourth movement: I like this movement quite a bit. However, the crazy fast scales that come in at 0:50....well, they're too fast. Not only would they be pretty much impossible to play, but they distract from the piece. I also think you should speed this whole movement up just a touch. Very nice theme, and I think I heard a climax in there too.

In general I liked it. There are a few things you could fix, but good job. Keep composing!
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Old Aug 25 2006, 8:27 PM

Composer
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Joined: 20-July 06
Posts: 28
Member Number: 1132
interesting concept, that golden rule thing... i'll have to try that out myself

but about your piece...

Movement I:

Let me just say that it was a very happy piece, and although one may argue that you need contrasting sections in order to write good music, I liked the consistency of this movement.

From m.36 onward, however, the counterpoint between the second and first violins feels a little disjointed. For a piece of this style I would advise trying to voice lead a little more between the two voices (avoid seconds and fourths and yada yada). Still, I thought that what you did with the violins at m. 41 and at other spots throughout the movement was really a nice touch.

Also, starting the entire movement off with a repeated underying rhythmic pattern was a good idea, and you seem to keep with that idea throughout the entire movement. Again, great sense of consistency here.

Movement II:

I lost my entire second string quartet... not on the computer.. its just sitting around somewhere in my house and I never bothered to look for it... but I hope you can "find" or rewrite your second movement and share it here!

Movement III:

My opinion on the slowing down and speeding up is that it adds character to the piece. True, if you were writing this specifically for the general waltzing public, it would be impractical, but for you purposes here, it works.

My biggest complaint about this movement is that sometimes the viola and cello often reach the tonic a measure earlier than the violins. (e.g. m. 15) This is by no means a bad thing, but since it's clear that your intent here is to write entirely tonal music, it sounds a bit awkward. Oddly enough, I got used to it as it occured more often in the piece, so it's up to you. If you intended that effect, you could certainly leave it in, but keep in mind that your average listening audience might feel uncomfortable with it at first (and only because of the context in which you used it!).

What I really liked about this movement was its loose theme and variations kind of feel. Every key change was entirely unexpected, yet the same theme held everything together nicely. Your ending, even though it shifted keys kind of randomly, sounded conclusive because you had established the fact that this is not a tonally stable piece of music. Nice work.

I have to go for now, but i'll be listening to and reviewing your final movement when I return.
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Old Aug 25 2006, 10:47 PM

Composer
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Joined: 20-July 06
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Member Number: 1132
Movement IV:

I see that you really like going from C major to E major! Not that there's anything wrong with that, and in a way it unifies this piece, but maybe in your next work you could go into a wider variety of different keys. And the fast figures in the second theme are definitely too fast for anyone to play, although it creates a cool effect on the computer. Maybe try using sixteenth notes instead. It would still be pretty fast, but then at least playable. That put aside, I think the second theme itself was very good. Catchy, too!

At some spots the music feels a little awkward, and that's something that can only be cleared up by writing more music. For instance, I don't particularly like how around m. 18 the music stayed so diatonic and static in C major. It definitely wanted to move somewhere, but you didn't give a chance too.

However, I must say that I like how you got yourself back to C major for the final bars. The viola and cello in the last four notes seems a bit out of place, being that there's really not much in the way of triplet eighth note type rhythms anywhere else in the piece, but it was a good ending nonetheless.

Overall, I like the direction in which you seem to be headed. This was an enjoyable piece and I hope that as you refine your art in pieces to come you keep this general style. (btw, I can tell you listen to a lot of schubert... he's one of my favorites as well)
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Aug 26 2006, 11:36 AM

Der Titan
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Joined: 25-August 06
Posts: 128
Member Number: 3611
thanx, that helped alot, more please!
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