"Symphony Amy" in D major - Symphony in four movements for full symphony orchestra

Hello, everyone. I'm new to YoungComposers.com and generally new to composition in general. I consider this work my first major achievement and I'm posting it here to get some feedback, tips, praise, and/or criticism.

In relation to the work, I wrote it for a very special friend of mine on her 16th birthday as a gift. I consider it somewhat of an accomplishment in that I came up with the idea of this gift at the beginning of the month that her birthday was near the end of the same month and I completed it in time.

It is a symphony in four movements, all of which, except one, fall under the Classical period definition of the symphony.

I. Adagietto dolce
II. Tranquillo espressivo
III. Waltz & Trio: Allegro non troppo
IV. Rondo: Giocoso con brio

This is my first contribution and I haven't got the hang of everything yet, so if there is a preferred way of posting links and/or scores I hope someone can please enlighten me!

I am already aware of many changes I should make, but this was written for a specific person for her birthday, and because it was in this form when I gave it to her, I would rather leave it as it is, even though improvement is definately necessary!

The score was done with a deadline in mind. It took 25 days at the most. The Waltz was only a days work, and the Rondo two at most. The other two just had lots of gaps between writing and not writing.

I'll comment on the rest of the movements later wayne, I'm kinda busy.


I started off with the Rondo because I was interested to see how you capped off the piece..the final movement of anything usually is the most exciting... but anyways.

I thought the movement was good overall, it's just that you like...overused the main theme (the A theme I believe) to the point that I almost zoned out towards the end. I would recommend to you to try to refrain from constantly repeating the same theme, try to diversify your compositions..with atleast somewhat contrasting A and B sections. Also, I think that it would be awesome if you can add like an accelerando around the time you repeat the main theme theme several times over and that army of 16ths in meausures 164-166, it would make it more interesting, and perhaps sound a bit more like one of those Irish Dances if you were heading in that direction. Overall though I think that this was an awesome..and fun to listen to the majority of the time, (especially considering you composed it in 25 days lol).

I like the movements in the same order they were composed (curious), my favourite being the adagietto (some wonderful moments there).

Is this your first work? If it is, then you sir have lots of talent!

Kudos and keep it up!

Nice first attempt at an orchestral composition. Since you are young, I can say this: you have a nice disposition for music and, most of all, sensibility. You've got a lot to learn still... I wonder how much regular (private/college) studies you have under your belt. Personally, I think you should start studying theory (harmony, counterpoint and later orchestration) much more in depth. Without boring you with pointing out the "trouble spots, from the very first page I could tell you are still at the beginning of your journey. I also started "big". Many of us did! You shouldn't stop writing if it pleases you, but, at the same time, you should roll-up your sleeves and get to work on the basics. I bet that in a year or two you'll realize how many more tools are out there for you to sharpen your skills and deepen the emotions you are willing to express through music. It's a lifetime of learning.
Good job and good luck!

Ok so here's the rest.

Adagietto dolce..Mvt I

This is was an excellent, excellent thing to listen to, I'm not even sure..it just seemed pure gold at some parts..just beautiful. There are a few things that I did think could be improved however, for one, there were parts where I thought that the music was too scalar, measures 14-16 and 44-46 were just a few examples. The first time you did this it was fine..but when it's done twice or 3 times, it begins to sound a bit uncreative. Also, (although you did it alot less here than in the finale) you seemed to repeat the same theme over and over again, while not as bad as the rondo, it did cause a bit of zoning out on my part here and there. Let's see...in measure 62, why not add a decresendo in the strings as a way to better introduce the flute you have in the next measure? The same goes for measure 109 where the horn is introduced again with the main melody along with the timpani. Although it would be more cosmetic than anything else, I think it'd be way cooler.

Now as for things that you did good, first off I'd like to congratulate you for making such a beautiful melody, there were some areas I really almost teared up..because of the way it was orchestrated and harmonized, Great job there! Also, starting at measure 109 I believe..you share the main theme with the whole orchestra..almost as if taking turns, now I'm a big fan of melody-sharing in the orchestra..so this part made me smile lol, awesome job there as well. Overall, I thought that this was a great introduction to your symphony, and I enoyed it the best out of the 2 movements that I have heard so far.

Tranquillo espresivo..Mvt 2.

I have absolutely nothing to say negative about this movement. I thought that it was an excellent transition from the first movement, and I especially liked that eerie feeling that you have throughout this short movement. I absolutely loved the rhythms that you had in the pizz. strings and harp, very interesting indeed. That surprising brass intro at measure 47 and the chord progression leading up to it in the tremelo strings was in my opinion the single greatest part of the symphony I have heard so far..absolutely stunning. I also enjoyed how you threw in a harp, it was the perfect timbre for the part that it was given and was great. (And it's by far my favorite plucked instrument). Finally the simple way you end the movement..with the quite strings and the harp, I thought was a fitting end for a movement such as this.

Waltz and trio Mvt. 3

Wow, I can be a person with absolutely no sense of beat or rhythm and know that this was a waltz. You've gotta love that 1-2-3...1-2-3..1-2-3...pattern in the strings, the cool thing you did though is that you didn't repeat the same thing there over and over again..you transitioned it from major to minor here and there which made me stay interested and prevented me from zoning out. This coupled with that beautiful theme first introduced by the flute and partially harmonized by the oboe only seemed fit for a nice..easy-going movement to precede the finale. I do have one question though, what about the brass lol? It just seemed odd not to hear a brass instrument throughout the movement. Personally I think that the mellow sound of the french horn could only complement the piece by playing a part here or even serve as a harmonizing body there. (Perhaps you did this purposely as to serve as a balancing factor for the brassy finale.) I have only one concern though about the piece, and it involves the way you end it. Don't you think that for such a light hearted calming movement, you ended it a bit too fierce? I actually expected more of a subtle ending with the strings dying off instead of this loud long held out note, ah well. Great Movement though, I loved the waltz second behind the tranquillo espressivo and third behind the Adagietto.

You sir, have great talent..considering that you composed this in 25 days and that this is your first major composition. This is definitely a gem, perhaps it needs a bit of polishinghere and there..but this is indeed one of the most beautiufl pieces I have heard on the forum..definitely in my top 10. I would also like to say that you don't have to do everything I reccomended in the above..just do what you feel best. Thanks again,

Zaire

This is a great piece for a fledgling composer to have written. There are some nice moments, and you have some real talent for texture.

The horn parts are a bit awkward in a number of places. The line is either awkward, or they are playing in the extreme upper register for lengthy periods without rest.

I liked the contrast in the 2nd movement with the gentler and more aggressive sections.

The middle of the 1st movement lost interest. In future pieces, you might consider that for extended works modulating to newer, more remote key areas can keep a listener attentive as they provide contrast. In the 2nd movement I didn't lose interest, because there was a clear contrast (this time with dynamics, instrumentation, and texture instead of harmonic areas) that keep me interested.

Good work!

I just listened to your 4th movement. It has a nice bouncy main theme. However, that alone isn't really interesting enough to carry almost the entire weight of the movement. It DOES repeat just a bit too much. You have to be careful, as well, about remaining in such static harmony. Almost the entire movement is simply a D major chord.

There are a LOT of orchestration issues, not least of which are range issues (flutes, bassoons, violins, violas, cellos all going out of range at some point).

Your horn player (I only saw one horn part.. and PLEASE do not say that it's a unison part for 2 horns), were this ever to be performed, would die before the half of the movement.

The bassoon cannot play those rapid figures in the extreme low register. Those bottom notes are all played with the same finger (left hand thumb) sliding across keys.

Since this is your first large-scale symphonic work, I can only congratulate you on the endeavour.

Now, the real work starts:

Study instrumentation and orchestration (shameless self-plug: we have an online orchestration course right here in the Masterclass forum on YC).

Get to know your harmony and potential progressions a bit better, that way you avoid the trap of monotonous static harmony.

A bit of counterpoint would help as well, since there is some rather awkward voice-leading here and there, and the potential for more interesting interplay between melodic and accompaniment material.

Any way, it's a good start, it shows promise, but don't rest on your laurels. You very obviously need work, and now is as good a time as any.