Where can I go with this? + string orchestration tips?

This is a piece I wrote which I'm fairly happy with except that it doesn't feel complete. It just feels way too short. It has the structure of a film cue, probably because it's fairly Bernard Herrmann influenced, but the problem is that isnt a film cue. I really want to extend it, but I'm not totally sure how.... I was thinknig of maybe keeping this bit as the end of the piece, and writing backwards

Also, this is the first thing I've orchestrated for a large ensemble without it turning out dismally, but I'd like as many tips or suggestions on the orchestration as possible. There are no double stops in it, everytrhing is played divisi. I was going for a fairly dark sound. Would the fact that I have only half the first viiolins playing the melody with all the violas keep the melody's sound fairly viola-ish/"dark"?

Also, for some reason the mp bit at the end doesnt play back at mp.

My opinion is very simple. I think it could use more of a bass/cello melodic line at the end.

Very creative by the way.

Hey thanks rkmajora, but what exactly do you mean by "the end", do you mean in the last 4 bars or so with that low repeating part?

I wrote another thing recently, originally it wasnt for this, but I'm thinknig it might fit. It's a different kind of theme, and a kind of different mood, but it's in a similar style. Does it fit?

Also, I'm now thinking of having a shortish introduction before the part I've already posted, having th ething I've posted be the first statement of the theme, and then going on from there, developing it etc. I want to use it as part of my comp folio in my interview for a compositoion course at the end of the year.

Originally Posted by 920bpm

Would the fact that I have only half the first viiolins playing the melody with all the violas keep the melody's sound fairly viola-ish/"dark"?

No, it wouldn't. Having any violins at all playing the melody would make the sound brighter.

Also, keep in mind that halving the number of players on a part doesn't actually cut the volume in half - it turns out that volume increases proportionally to the square root of the number of players, so half of the first violin section actually generates 70% of the volume of the full section.

Anyway, now looking at the score, I see that you have your violins playing an octave above the violas. What you're actually going to get in this case is almost a pure violin sound, with the violas reinforcing it. You can get a darker sound by having the violins playing in unison with the violas, as they would be playing on their lower strings as well as no longer sticking out above everyone else. This is very possible in what you've written: I see no notes in the viola part that are not playable on a violin.

Part of the problem here, also, is that the inside 1st violins and the 2nd violins cross the viola melody fairly frequently, and are generally in the same register. In order to emphasize a melody in the middle or lower registers, the general idea should be to clear a "highway" for the melody by leaving a bit of space above and below the melody.

What I would do here, then, is either have a half-section of violins double the violas in unison rather than at the octave, or let the violas play the melody alone. I would also move some of the other material in the violin parts up an octave, allowing the violas to stand out in their register.