Young One's Sorrow. Marching Band Field Show

I've come here to get opinions on a Marching Band Field Show I've created. It's called Young One's Sorrow. The show is made up of three movements. The first movement is Rivalry. The second movement is An Unfortunate Meeting. It features a Snare soloist. The third movement is called Battle 'til Death. And lastly, the fourth movement (which is extremely short!) is called When the Dead Rise.

The show tells the story of three characters. Character C (Male/Female) is a cold-blooded killer who has killed Character A's mother when he was young. Character A (Male) wishes revenge upon Character C. Character B (Female) is a great friend of Character A who tries to help Character A cope with his mother's death.


Song Information:

Opener:
During the opening Tuba Feature, Character A and C engage in angry argument, A saying his "I will get my revenge"s and C saying their "I'd like to see you try"s. Once the rest of the low brass instruments come in, the two separate. A and B go off and basically hang out. C begins plotting A's death.

Mvt. 2:
The opening lines are light and flowing to show that everything is happy and going well for A and B. But when the music changes, C appears. And finally C kills B at the next change in music. The rest of the song is A searching for C everywhere on the field.

Mvt. 3:
It begins the battle. In the background, a colorguard member who played character B, spins a red flag that fades to black. And the tempo change, A is dead. And C leaves the body where is lays. B at this point has two angel wing-shaped flags. She lays one on character A. She moves around the field spinning the one that is left. In the final measures, C falls to the ground, filled with guilt. B goes towards them, and lays the second flag on them.

Finale:
Beginning with a Triplet pit and percussion feature, it goes through the upper wind/brass section with features. All melody is take from The Tuba opening in the Opener. During this time, the band chases Character C, well, mostly the colorguard really... anyway, at the final hit the colorguard basically "jump" on top of Character C. Like an angry mob. Some dialog could be used here with some "Get him/her" and etc. That ends the show!


I made these with Finale 2003.


*click here*


If you look at the Finale files, tell me measure numbers I need to work on.

Okay, a field show, don't get too many of those around here. So I'm going to address this from two standpoints, from the musical standpoint, and also analyzing it as a field show.

Okay first off... I was kinda freaked out when the first several measures of this were in the EXACT same style and key I was improvising in on my synthesizer just moments earlier, so I'm going to try and cast that out of my mind as freaky as it may be....

Let me mention something scorewise first, it's getting on my nerves.... in band music, you put the horns below the trumpets, and you put the trumpets on two staves (three parts, mind you. One on top, two below, is how i believe it is). Same with clarinets, three parts, two staves. Never split the bari sax part, it needs to have everybody playing the same part or it gets too weak and muddy down there in the low end of the band. Same with tubas, never split tubas unless you're doing octave work. I'll let you go on this one since it's the whole feature of the opener here, though.

Is the first chord supposed to be simply POUNDED, like.... BANG, or is it a wide sweeping motion, in a crescendo until measure 2? I'm feeling the need for a crescendo, it's more dramatic and draws more attention to the second chord, which has more completeness, thus drawing the attention of the audience from the sweeping dissonance of the first chord, provided you do it in that fashion. Possibly a sforzando and crescendo...

Okay, you have a riveting first four measures, then about 00:45 of complete boringness with the tubas. I'm a tuba player, I like tuba. I play tuba. I enjoy exposed tuba parts. This one is boring. I would say just cap some of it off, just get rid of it, you can do in four to eight measures at most what you did in around eighteen. Now, at measure 23, we have baritones coming. Don't split that part unless you want them to be solo, one player on the top one on the bottom, otherwise, baritones never split.

Starting at 31, there's too much going on for the solo tuba to cut through, I would suggest making it a tuba tutti, and lose the lower part, the timpani and pit bass drum have room for it anyways. Plus you can have bass 5 play it as well throughout the whole thing. Be careful you don't exceed the range in the bells, written range is G (sometimes as low as F) below treble stave up to C, two ledger lines above the staff. These all sound two octaves higher, but that's beside the point. By the way, where are the other pit parts? Pit usually has a multitude of rhythm instruments plus xylophone and marimba, don't be afraid to use them if they're available.

38 through 41, you could use all three trumpet parts, the thicker the harmony the better. And why did mellophones cut out at 40? Keep them in on the action.

Okay, my computer just suffered from a virtual memory breakdown and Finale had to close.... I'll pick up where I left off later.

Thanks. I was wondering about cutting most of the Tuba thing. With the pit instruments, I'll try to add more. I was debating where to put some of it really. I checked with the range of the pit instrument ranges. I had some changing to do. Also, with the first measure, thanks. I'll add that. With the Mellophones..everyone cuts at 40. But I gave them something after there.

Also, I play clarinet for marching band. I noticed some shows just keep it all on one part, and others make three.

I only made one because there was no use for separate parts. With the trumpets... I think I may be being a bit trumpet hating... not sure if it has to do with the trumpets in our band.. but i dunno. I actually don't give them melody much really. Tuba may have just as much as they do O_o...

Really, I'm not sure on how to write percussion parts, so please bear with them... same with the instrument used for the pit. (Mallets) Try to imagine it with the instruments used it the other movements...

I can't say anything negative about the winds, except some parts seemed a little too slow and drug on a little bit too much for a field show. I think the closer should have been much more uplifting. The whole thing was very dramatic and had a lot of feeling, but sometimes it just didn't seem like a field show at all.

And I feel sorry for whatever poor drumline has to play those parts. ARE YOU TRYING TO BORE THEM TO DEATH?

The mallets where fine........when you decided to actually use them. Now, I understand that every section shouldn't be playing the whole time, I understand that, but you have to think about it as a marching band show as well.

Everyone needs to get the shine in, and while it is a good piece of music how it is, you have to think of it from a performance aspect as well. The last thing you want judges, or even the audience to capture is that the people out there are bored. The mallets weren't nearly as bad as the battery. In marching band percussion drumlines tend to lean away from the repetitive beats to keep say, a big band going, the parts are usually written to challenge the members, as well as fit in musically.

And the percussion, especially the drumline can add a lot to the piece.

I wish I could go into this more, but I've just woken up after a good 18 hours of sleep, and I'm not all here yet.

But I'm thinking about going in there are revising some of the drumline parts just for the fun of it. Boy, do I love writing for battery.

Updated the opening post. =p

Hello "A Forgotten Legend"

Before I give you my notes, let me tell you where I'm coming from that way you don't think I'm just a dumb composer who doesn't know anything about band music.

These opinions of mine are coming from 4 years of playing mellophone/french horn in a 6A band and performing in the rose parade. I'm not trying to sound egotysical (sp?)at all I promise. I'm just mentioning this so you know I am on the same page with you.

Ho Kay,

I was going to say support your tubas in the beginning but then I read it was a solo...so never mind.

I also agree that your battery needs work. Here is a good question to ask yourself when writing all of these parts: Is the part going to be challenging and entertaining enough for the player to play this music for 3-4 months? You have accomplished that in the WW parts but I think work needs to be done in the brass, battery, and pit parts.

First song, mm.77-78 insainly hard to march perfectly. I remember in a field show I was in, the song accel. poco a poco and it took around a month for the band to march and play it right without having a complete train wreck. In your piece, from marching that fast to rit. that quickly, major issues can arise both musically and marching.

More mallet parts please. They are written very well but we just need more parts. The battery as well needs more challenging and less-repetitive parts. Remember, they have a competition to win as well and the more challenging the part, the better off they are of getting that award.

All in all, I feel that there was not enough full band playing. Bands get major points for full blend and balance and intonation. But if the piece doesn't have many parts where the entire band plays, there leaves no window of opportunity for the band to show off. Maybe some more accompaniment and counter melodies should do the trick.

Try not to div. the tuba too much. Remember, they are the support for the band so the more notes they divide on, the less foundation we have.

On the last song, I fell the transition at m.24 could be better.

m.41-51 was a great melody! I think some more interesting parts here will really help out the piece.

mm.77-78 too too high for the French horn/mellophone. Keep your parts no higher then a G above the staff. The players will loose their chops throughout the show and when it comes time to the end, they might have nothing left.

And lastly, on the final song, where is the cadence? We need to hear that F at the end. Sometimes, not cadencing is ok, but not in marching band music. With that cadence, the audience will know when the piece is over. If we don't have it...they will ask the same question I did..."Is....is it over?"

I hope I wasn't being too harsh on you. I am not trying to bash you down in anyway I am just letting you know what I think could make the piece better. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask. I hope this helps you and keep on composing!

Best,

Kyle

Thanks, I've changed some notes on the mellophone's part now. I want that difficulty with the rit. If done right it should have a great effect. Even though what you said will most likely happen, it should get some points with the judges.

I've begun rewriting some of the percussion parts, as well mallet parts. I'm going to redo the files to add more percussion stuff. Plus, I guess my brain was on easy percussion mode, because only our Tenors and3/4 snares are any good. Our base line just plain sucks O_o... Maybe thats why I made it a bit too repetitive and easy.

And no, you weren't too hard on it. that was more of the reaction I was thinking I'd get.

Well I'm glad I was able to help. I can't wait to hear the revisions and be sure to take your time...no rush.

Ignore this post!

Here's the newly updated show! I've made some changes, added a song, and etc. Added some notes to it, and some other things.

So, for info see the opening post. =p

---EDIT---
See opening post for newer posting