Thank you for the feedback Yachar. Looking at the piece, I agree that the melody sometimes becomes quite uninteresting and unfocused. This is something I can improve on in the future.
When writing this piece, I ended up feeling like I needed to keep the melody diatonic, to establish the modality in the first part and to keep the folk style in the second.
Thanks KJ for your review. I realize that the theme might be more promising than the piece, since it was intended as the beginning of an unrealized sonata! I myself was not entirely satisfied with the final chords (bars 31-4). In fact, after your review, I tried to revise them for almost two hours but came back to the original, being unable to settle on a better alternative. That is perhaps one of the reasons why I almost never revise pieces after I finish composing them. It seems that in this case, and at least as far as I as a composer am concerned, the initial creative judgement is always the right one. But I am more satisfied with the 16th notes which you found distracting. Had I expanded it into a sonata, those 16th notes might have functioned as a second theme.
It is unfortunate that the previous piano soliloquies I have posted do not show up. I have posted No.s 4-7 in addition to the No. 8 & 9. I will post the links below hoping that you can access them and look forward to hearing what you think of them.
I also look forward to your 3rd soliloquy.
This piece was composed by me, and as it's one of my favourite poems, I wanted to give it 'sounding'.
Albert Wass was a Hungarian poet of the 20th century. As Hungary lost both wars, Transylvania was taken by Romania, where Wass was born. For he'd taken part in World War II., he'd to exile himself from the country to the U.S., and he could never return. If he'd did so, he'd been executed (or at least jailed) by the Communist Goverment - that took control of the country for 1989 - like many people. In he's poems, patriotism, nostalgia, the wartime losses, bitterness, and of course, the transylvanian-hungarian land(scape) has a strong role, and frequent presence.
The poem is in Hungarian, but I translated it to English for you. Unfortunately, I'm positively not a poet, so I only cared about the content and the meanings, not about the form and rhymes. You can read the translation below.
As for the sheet, the piece was recorded with EWQL Brass Section and Finale 2012, and it's up to ignore the dynamics I wanted. But please notice, that in the sheet you can find the correct notation.
I was trying to accord to the poem, and 'paint pictures to music' I saw while reading it. I used many specific 'Hungarian folksong - sounding' melodies and harmonies. I take any advice, remark or criticism that helps me make my piece better.
Thank you, and best regards!
Translation by Defearon:
Dearest love of mine, look at the mount's ridge!
A coat is made thereon, by the blonde rime.
And where the creek flows, recess-like,
it visits the woodlands covered with death.
And within the woodlands blood and death exists.
Everything is cold to the bones... everything, that was
scattered as a present, by the Summer.
And sometimes, soft winds are sneaking through,
sending a message, "the faith was vain",
And - what is left here by the dead Spring -
it's buried by the leafs of the beeches.
And do you hear it?
Magical melodies are heared from the clouds high upon!
See? There are brother-crows marching through,
a wandering pair in love.
And they are flying together, forever,
where the Fall made melodies and flowers fall... (Maybe I'm still a poet :) )
Dearest love of mine, come with me to the Fall,
and stop with me high, at the rime-white edge,
under the saddest but finest beech-tree,
and see, what beatiful wilting is!
And the megic left here... is only left for us!
I felt that way too. But it's pretty, so what you weigh over what isn't really my business.
In measure 25, I'm wondering why you chose to put Cb instead of B natural, because you have the D natural coming after it, and it would make more sense for it to be a B minor going to G major.