I will make a response to your topic next week. I want to respond properly but I do not have time at the moment and am already indebted to respond to somebody else first. I have been going through a similar crisis for the past two years and I guess am still going through it in a way but I found a way to make it constructive instead of being a black hole in my mind. I of course cannot promise that anything I say will make you discover a way out of the crisis, you will need to do that for yourself (in my case it took the form of an epiphany), but I could tell you about my realization and what I have been thinking lately. Hang in there.