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ilv

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ilv last won the day on June 11

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  1. Good job overall. A few things to loot at: I like how you start calm and increase the intensity by adding more instruments. An upward scale in the bass and a downward scale in the treble at once sounds a little awkward. 0:16 and 0:27: F3 and G4 do not go together, awkward 0:19 and 0:32: awkward 0:37: A4 doesn't belong 0:50 and 1:12: E6 sounds a bit awkward here 0:57: A4 sounds awkward here, there should be a D4 1:7: baseline does not match other notes harmonically 1:18: there's a little gap in the horn part 1:21-1:26: this figure should only repeat twice 1:22 and 1:25: A preferred over B 1:35: A and D do not fit here, use G, B and E instead 1:37: awkward 1:40: the coda of the exposition could start here, everything from 1:40-1:56 should be replaced or removed
  2. Good job overall. A few things worth looking at: 0:16: when the right hand plays B-natural5, I would not change chord progressions in the left hand. This particular change is awkward. 0:26: I would change the chord progressions in the left hand to I-Ii6-I46-V7 (A-flat major). The second theme is much calmer this time. Great work. 0:28 and 0:32: F5 does not belong here. I would make it an E-flat5 instead. General note: I would make all A-flat first inversion triads root position triads. 0:31: Awkward leap of a major 7th in the right hand. 0:34: I46-V56 vs I46-V/V7 0:38-0:47: could have more motion and less gaps 0:46: avoid parallel octaves 0:50: The ear excepts a V-I cadence here. F3 and D-flat4 vs E-flat3 and D-flat4 (left hand) 0:51-1:0: some awkward chord progressions were found 1:0: B-flat5 in the right hand does not match the I46 chord in the left hand 1:4: The two hands could have a better dialogue. The G4s in the left hand sound awkward here and are unnecessary. 1:7: The third of the A-flat major triad is missing. 1:13: The little bridge there is unnecessary. Previous comments apply for the repeat of the exposition. 2:22: A B-flat2 in the left hand would fit will with D-flat3 and G5. 2:23: The two hands do not harmonically match. 2:26-2:40: some awkward progressions could use more motion and less gaps 2:41-2:47: this figure only needs to be played once 2:43: This is an essential repeat of the awkward progression at the beginning. 3:1: awkward harmonies 3:12: The sudden modulation to F-sharp minor and back to F minor is not typical. 3:16: G does not belong here. A-flat is preferred. 3:32: i46-V preferred (F minor) 3:34: D5 missing from scale 3:38: use root position chords The end was cut a bit.
  3. I don't have a problem with the fast tempo. Some spots worth looking at: 1. 0:10 and 0:23: Instead of B3 and C#4 in the left hand, 2 D3s would be preferable. I find the original clashy. 2. The melody could be more flowy when there's lots of gaps in it e.g 0:13 and other repetitions of this figure in other keys. 3. The F#4 at 0:11 and 0:24 does not fit with the rest of the piece. 4. The rests between sections are too long. 5. 0:45-0:48 has some awkward harmonies. 6. The second theme (0:48-1:5) could be more lyrical and slower-moving in the melody. 7. 1:19: F#4 does not fit here 8. The scale passage in the right hand at 1:28 should end on A6 rather than A5. The ear expects it to end on that note. You will need to modify the coda of the xposition if you make this change. 9. The beginning of the development could be more melodic and flowy. 10. G-naturals in F-sharp minor are inappropriate, at least in the context of this section. 12. I like the way you varied the repetition of the first theme after the development. The comments I made about the exposition apply at the recapitulation.
  4. Is there a reason you discourage downloading? Also, what do I click on to move forward or backward through an audio file?
  5. Maarten, that is exactly what I'm talking about.
  6. I have two suggestions/problems with the audio player. I use Firefox by the way. 1. Is there a way to skip forward and backward through an uploaded audio file? 2. Is there a way to download an uploaded audio file?
  7. Good job. I would develop the piece more. Also, the held D single note at the end is impossible due to the triple stop right before it. Otherwise, this is playable
  8. I agree with Monarcheon. Just to add that this piece could be more melodic. You could add a melody on top.
  9. The scale of this song is hard to identify. It goes between various natural minor scales. It starts out in G-sharp natural minor and transitions to other natural minor scales.
  10. Would love to comment, but can't find the music.
  11. Would love to comment, but the video isn't available.
  12. Would like to coment, but can't find the music.
  13. Very nice. Just a technical concern at the beginning: that minor second double stop is impossible. I would remove the C. Very nice. Just a concern about technique. That minor second at the beggin
  14. Would love to comment, but I can't find the music.