Morning Poem

Forgive me! I have to upload it all again. Everything goes wrong.

Name of Piece	MP3
Morning Poem

wooohooo i like this!!!this is really nice!!! i like how you create the peaceful atmosphere through tremelos!!!!!i can see the king grieving over the lost of his empire....nice image!!and the oboe is really heart-wrenching! so touching >

and if a live orchestra is to play this, it will be molto fantastico!!!!=) and the harp and winds are really beautiful! it provides a strong directional motion!!!!

Thanks cjplublossom! Wrote the melody when I was 12/13 years old, never knowed how to use it, until a couple of months ago.

Hello!

This is a very nice work. It sounded almost... well it is old-style, but done well. So kudos on that

Here are my problems:

Bar 16, the piccolo comes in. That's low for piccolo, and it won't be heard. In fact the whole piccolo part could just be a 3rd flute, which would work.

Bar 17 (lol) The trombones come in, put the 3rd part in the bass trombone.

Bar 31: 3 bass trombones: no... 3 tubas: no... 3 trumpets: maybe.

Bar 47-54: Didn't really fit in for me.

Nothing else in the other half of the piece wrong, really. I like your orchestration. Just be sure to divide the oboe solo between the 2 oboes!

Thanks for posting!

Heckel

Your woodwinds, especially your flutes, will hate you for this part. Without slurs, the implication is that every note is tongued (the equivalent of saying "tuh" on every note) instead of a continuous air stream with only finger positioning changing. If you want those lines to flow, you need to invest in some slurs. In addition, you have the flutes playing uninterrupted sixteenth notes for 31 straight bars with no place to breathe whatsoever. Marking phrases with slurs will actually help with this, as it will give the players places to cheat on phrases a little and sneak a breath in, but still, I'd recommend re-writing that whole part keeping in mind that wind players have to breathe.

EDIT: Also, your instrumentation is odd, very brass-heavy with cornets, bugles AND trumpets, as well as multiple tubas, bass trombones, and more that would be very hard to find in a real orchestra. Unless you already have a group like this lined up to play your work, I would consider re-scoring for a standard orchestral instrumentation (4 horns, 2 or 3 trumpets, 2 trombones, 1 bass trombone, 1 tuba) since many of the extra instruments are redundant anyway (that is, in some places you have two bass trombones playing the same notes as two of the three tenor trombones, so why do you need those extra instruments?).

I second all of Dev's comments.

Thanks you all for the review! Didn't know anything about slurs and breath. Didn't even thought about how they should breath in the first place.
I've got a lot to learn (!) but thanks for your helpfull advise! I will work on a better version of the Morning Poem.