Seraphus

Edge of Visible

7 posts in this topic

Hello everyone,

My name is Danijel and I'm composing music for several years.

Edge of visible is my new album and I already signed first two songs to a publisher. Recently I've composed two more so before offering them I would love to hear someone's thought on those.

So any comment is more than welcome.

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Oceans of Green: The orchestration around the relatively unchanging melody was definitely a plus, especially as pseudo-ambient music. Be careful of pedal tonics though, when you use your inversions in the second section, the minor 6th and other chord tones become a lot more exposed than contained. In the first section perhaps it didn't need to be repeated 3 times, maybe a similar but different introduction could be used instead of the first time. The later changes used were binary and very solid. When the melody returns after the melody-less part, the piano octaves sometimes introduce strange dissonances that do not resolve correctly. Other than that though, this was a fine movement.
Absolute Light: Not much to say for a pseudo-ambient track. It does its job well and builds constantly using similar themes. Your bridges were really nice. The tones you used clashed a lot less this time around. Good work on this one. 

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Hello Monarcheon,

 

thanks for your deep insinght :).

Your points are valid, I could use more variations in Oceans of Green. Unfortunately I don't have adequate speakers to check everything so sometimes sounds "slips" where it shouldn't be....The dissonances that you hear are leftovers from a part before, I didn't hear them until you pointed them out so I will remove those.

Since you obviously know what you're talking about, could you listen to another two songs from that album? They are already finished and signed by publisher, but I would love to hear you oppinion on those.

Thanks a lot :).

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In general, the rhythm section was way too loud in the mix. Maybe your producer liked it this way. But overall I enjoyed it as sound candy or some ecstasy experience. I kept waiting for a focus or arc but there was none. Once you start to pay attention to it, there's not much there.  Now, if Sade were singing, it would be a different story.

 

Edited by Ken320

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Hi Ken,

thanks for your comment. You are right about rhythm level, I've fixed that in final mix. And you are also right about "focus or arc" as you said it - actually most of my instrumentals were ment to have vocals in them, but I'm having trouble finding adequate singers. 

I suppose my producers like it since they mostly work with movies, commercials and such and this type of music suits them.

But your points are valid and I will try to incorporate them in my future work :).

 

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Really good stuff.

The only thing I would say is the drums on the second one are a tad bright, maybe

bring down the levels a bit

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Posted (edited)

Thank you, I've corrected drum levels in final mix. 

In the meantime I've managed to finish another song, feel free to put your ears onto it :). 

Edited by Seraphus
Moved to separate thread, there were multiple audio files starting.

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