3 posts in this topic

This is the piece I newly composed, hope everyone like it, and @Monarcheon welcome your commentation.

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Posted (edited)

I'm bad at orchestra stuff so I will just point out the few things I noticed. I'm not totally sure that these are all valid criticisms/comments, and I'm operating in largely subjective terms. So here goes:

  1. It was nice. I enjoyed it. The first melody is my favorite and I genuinely looked forward to hearing it again each time while reading the score.
  2. Certain places where you're clearly going for the big, fun tutti impact we're all so fond of and familiar with (m. 163-166, m. 267 as examples) seem a little odd and unnecessary to me. I feel that those moments aren't built up like they could be, and they themselves don't lead to much of anything. That could just be the MIDI recording though.
  3. The places where the orchestration gets real sparse real fast (m. 53, m. 120, the general area after m. 253, immediately following that big note in m. 267) are a little too sudden for me and that makes it a bit awkward. Again, that could be the MIDI recording. I'm not sure how a live performance from actual humans would alter the way those parts really sound.
  4. I'm not really sure what m. 167-174 are for. Those chords seem out of place. Not that they don't fit harmonically, but I mean that suddenly there are just strings playing chords and I'm not sure what they're there for. I'm having trouble communicating this thought without it sounding stupid, so I hesitate to even include it with the other criticisms. It's a real nitpick, and this must all seem pretty cheeky coming from the guy who just said "I'm bad at orchestra stuff" and "I'm largely operating in subjective terms." Those chords don't actually present a problem so you can ignore me if you want.
  5. Also I'm sorry. I'm a hater. I hate the triangle. It annoys me to death. Sorry.
  6. To end with, let's talk about the ending. It's a nice ending. It sounds weak though, in my opinion. I think it could and should be louder and more bombastic. Again though, I think that may just be the lame MIDI sounds. I'm not holding it against you at all, and that goes for all of my points.

None of this seems all that problematic to me, I just think there are parts that can be made better. Also I always feel a twinge of sympathy for the unreviewed post. Hopefully this first review will lure some others in to give better comments* and even scold/correct whatever I may be in the wrong about. Overall, I enjoyed listening to this and I'm always impressed with anyone who can write reasonably for orchestra. Thank you for sharing!

 

*EDIT: It worked!

Edited by KJthesleepdeprived

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m. 24, double III measure is a little bit weird.
m. 33, realllllly high oboe note. 
m. 210, bowings are a bit tough.

4 hours ago, KJthesleepdeprived said:

The places where the orchestration gets real sparse real fast (m. 53, m. 120, the general area after m. 253, immediately following that big note in m. 267) are a little too sudden for me and that makes it a bit awkward. Again, that could be the MIDI recording. I'm not sure how a live performance from actual humans would alter the way those parts really sound.

It would sound fine for most of them. I thought 53 was clever. 120 should probably be supported with decrescendos; same with 253, even though I do see the diminishing orchestration, which is always a good technique. 

4 hours ago, KJthesleepdeprived said:

I'm not really sure what m. 167-174 are for. Those chords seem out of place. Not that they don't fit harmonically, but I mean that suddenly there are just strings playing chords and I'm not sure what they're there for.

I can see what you mean, and I agree to an extent. The purpose is to keep a static eighth pulse with the strings, I believe, but to make that more clear, the orchestration could be expanded a little bit.

I kind of like the ending, but I find the high flute a bit of a non-fitting part. Since it all ends so soft. I liken it to the Kabalevsky Cello Concerto, first movement.

Overall, it's a pretty nice piece and goes places, which is always a plus. I think you can stay up in register/dynamic a little bit more though... it doesn't always have to fall after a climax. Cheers!

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