JordanRoberts

Es wird meiner Seele lang (TTBB)

5 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

I have written and arranged several pieces for all manner of wind ensembles during my time as an Army bandsman, but I had never ventured into the realm of choral work until now. I'm in the process of transitioning from a career in the military to civilian life, so the text seemed especially appropriate.

Es wird meiner Seele lang
zu wohnen bei denen
die den Frieden hassen
Ich halte Frieden
aber wenn Ich rede
so fangen sie Krieg an

(Too long have I lived
among those who hate peace
I am for peace
but when I speak
they are for war)

I recorded myself on all of the parts. I am admittedly not a real singer (professional tuba player), but it beats midi. 

I'm very interested in what sort of feedback you fine musicians have. I'm not experienced in submitting pieces for competitions or anything, so any advice would be great! 

Edited by JordanRoberts
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I think this is very beautiful, with rich harmonies.

You sing quite well.

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Lovely work, generally. You do a great job in avoiding the crossed voices and really making it feel like a progression. The F9 chord was a great touch near the end and the C minor ending was hauntingly good. Two major gripes for me:
1. I found the repeating of the m. 19 motive a little bit too much. I think it could have done an A A B type thing where the melody changes after two iterations or something like that. It just didn't feel as flow-y as the rest of the piece.
2. Note that in a regular choir, a split into 3 voices really cuts back the sound of the whole section singing certain tones relative to the ones that don't (even two can be hard sometimes). Just keep in mind what non-chord tones you want to bring out in certain times.

Great job.

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This is lovely.  I agree with Monarcheon:  be careful about splitting voice parts.  There are choral pieces out there that create very effective changes in dynamics without changing the dynamics marked in the score.  They just split voices into more and more parts or bring them back into unison.  It really makes a great deal of difference in the amount of sound.  

I'd also add, that you want to be wary of very low notes in the range for any part toward the end of an unaccompanied vocal piece.  Choirs almost never go sharp.  They always drift flat.  So if you use very low notes at the end of a piece, they may have slipped far enough from the original key that no one can actually sing that low note.  It may have started out in the range, but it's not any more!

You show some real promise for working with choirs here.  I hope you'll write some more choral works!

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