A short song I wrote in two days. Do you guys have any critique on any "breathing issues" that may arise? Also do you think it ends too abruptly, or is it okay for a short piece? Though it's mostly classical, do tell me if it works in your opinion.

Note: I usually sing my own songs if I can--but this one was way too difficult for my cigarette-smoking, untrained throat to handle XD. So I used an AI-based vocaloid sort of. (Yeah, I kind of feel guilty for using an AI vocaloid, but everything else just sounds so trash, I wanna tear my hair out. Sorry ;_;)

It's been a few months since I wrote anything. My last cycle on Laforgues poems had left me a little dry!

But this poet has not said his last word and continues to haunt me.

So here is a new piece, black, full of soot...

Note, you can activate the subtitle in English.

Good listening.
https://youtu.be/jXMz3lu6Jfk?si=tYOpdEBtnVSJVlfe

I am being commissioned by a local middle school to arrange Umbrella. I have just the bridge and a final chorus to add, but I wanted feedback. My background is percussion so I don't want to accidentally make anything to jumpy or impossible. Please be specific in critiques, I'd appreciate it!

Thank you!

For four equal voices, a cappella, this will work equally well for men's or women's voices, or could be used for a mixed choir. Three voices are in canon for all but the end of the piece, while the last provides a verse in an additional musical layer.  It marches along at a good tempo for protest.

The text explores three different approaches to working toward justice: boycotting the economy of those in power in favor of hands-on work in your community, peaceful self-sacrifice to earn respect and spread your message, and educating people about uncomfortable truths, so that they can base their future actions on an accurate picture of the situation.

In 1891, the African Jubilee Chorus embarked on an extended concert tour of England to raise funds to start a college in Kimberley, South Africa. They sang to sold-out crowds, but were also met with constant racism. Choir member Katie Manye declined to participate in future tours, deciding hands-on work for her community was a better use of her time. She dedicated the rest of her life to a career in nursing.  Speaking about her decision, she said, "I don't sing for people who do not see me."

An anchoress nun, Julian of Norwich was chosen to be walled into a tiny cell of a church until her death as a living sacrifice. At a time when women in positions of power were actively suppressed, particularly by the church, Julian’s cheerful and calm acceptance of her fate earned the respect of her local community and gave her a voice that the authorities couldn't silence due to her ever-growing celebrity and popularity. Although she could not leave, a stream of important visitors came to her to seek her council, and her writings escaped and were published. Dating from the late 1300s, her books are the oldest known works by a female author in the English language and speak of comfort and hope in the face of adversity. One of her most famous quotes was the simple statement, "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

A prolific author, scientist, and activist, W. E. B. Du Bois believed speaking truth to power, especially when the truth was uncomfortable, was essential to achieving change. He felt that if we believe in a just society, we must speak up when society falls short, and teach both the good and the bad chapters of our history to have a clear picture from which to move forward. In addition to being one of the most important early voices for civil rights in America, Du Bois helped citizens in Africa and Asia organize for their rights against colonialist powers.  The verse of this piece comes from his 'Black Reconstruction in America,' "Nations reel and stagger on their way; they make hideous mistakes; they commit frightful wrongs; they do great and beautiful things. And shall we not best guide humanity by telling the truth about all this…?"

I consider it a sort of Tolkien setting, because he liked this Child Ballad, and quoted this fragment of it in an essay.

I'll get the other two in!  Here's a start.  The Windhover.

Bright morning stars are rising, 

and day is breaking in my soul.

Where are our dear mothers?

They're down in the valley a' praying, 

and day is breaking in my soul.

Where are our dear fathers?

They've gone up to heaven a' shouting!

And day is breaking in my soul!

My interpretation of the cards and dice are displayed below.  Since the casting was in the key of A (because the black musician's die landed on A), it pertained to the Third Eye Chakra which is associated with woodwinds.  Then, two more woodwinds cards were dealt so I picked the following three woodwinds to include in the piece:  Flute, Clarinet, and Bassoon (Jewelz played Clarinet).  Then there was a card in the suit of voices in the 3rd position so I included an Alto in the piece.  And finally in the 4th position we dealt a triad of brass card so I used three trumpets.  If you'd like to find out more about Muzoracle and how castings are interpreted go here: https://muzoracle.net/

This short musical representation of Jewelz Casting is about ~1:30 minutes long.  I created the following melodic/harmonic underdrawing guided by the cards and the dice.  I started the main melody with Flute and Clarinet on Bb and a rising chromatic line suggested by the dice.  This was accompanied by an Alto voice singing B octaves and finally with three trumpets playing D major triads.  

If you've gotten this far thanks for reading!  And I hope you enjoy listening to this short chamber work I wrote to represent Jewelz casting.  Comments, critiques, suggestions, and observations are of course, always welcome.  Thanks for listening!

Text:
Corpus omne perseverare in statu suo quiescendi vel movendi uniformiter in directum, nisi quatenus illud a viribus impressis cogitur statum suum mutare.

The form is binary, with the usual closing orchestral ritornello joined by the soloist.

Aaronic Benediction Free Sheet Music by Robert C. Fox for Various Instruments | Noteflight

Art Song for Voice and Piano

Composed:  March 22, 2020 at Austin

Poem by Jackie Dilworth (used with permission)

Recording:  MP3 of electronic rendering by Finale Human Playback through NotePerformer 3.

Greetings!  Just dropping in once again to share something recent of mine that falls outside my usual Classical style - Modern Tonal I suppose you might call it, for lack of a better term. 

I happened to mention on Facebook back in March that the bluebonnets (a wildflower native to Texas) were in bloom here in Austin, where I now live - an event eagerly anticipated in Texas every year, not only for their ephemeral beauty, but because their appearance is one of the first signs of the arrival of spring.  My friend Jackie Dilworth responded to my post, mentioning that she had written a poem about bluebonnets, which I then asked her to share with me.  Upon receiving it I read through it, and moved by its simplicity and unassuming loveliness - much like the flower for which it named - I was almost immediately inspired to set it to music, which I did in a single sitting.  The text of the poem follows below.  

"A Bluebonnet" by Jackie Dilworth

A bluebonnet is a flower from Texas
Bright, brilliant, violet blue in colour
Growing on the prairie:
Waking and rising in spring
Under the bright sun in summer
Bathed in rain all the autumn,
Resting under the shade of winter.
Far away from the Scotch Thistle and Cactus,
Joshua Tree, Elm, and Sagebrush
Of the desert high and far
Who thirst and long for water and life.
Bluebonnets gently sway
In warm breezes from the Gulf
Where Rio Grande goes to its end
In another time and place
In the future and far away.

Thanks for listening and I'd appreciate any comments, suggestions, critiques, or just observations!

(Pre-Chorus)
Sugar on your words, but your eyes say “never” (never)
You want my magic, but not me forever (ever)

(Chorus)
Glitter and sprinkles, you want me for the show
Pretty on the surface, but you’ll never know
Painted-on smiles, we’re faking through the day
But I won’t be your cupcake, just to throw away
Glitter and sprinkles, you want me when it’s sweet
But I’m not your topping, I’m more than your treat

(Verse 2)
Plastic tiaras, you love to play pretend (pretend)
Pick me for the party, then ghost me in the end
Mirrorball reflections, you crave my shine
But you can’t taste my darkness, can’t handle mine

(Pre-Chorus)
Cherry on your mood, but you melt so quick (so quick achu)
You want my colors, but not my tricks

(Chorus)
Glitter and sprinkles, you want me for the show
Pretty on the surface, but you’ll never know
Painted-on smiles, we’re faking through the day
But I won’t be your cupcake, just to throw away
Glitter and sprinkles, you want me when it’s sweet
But I’m not your topping, I’m more than your treat

(Bridge)
You want a sugar rush, I want a soul
You want a fairy tale, I want control
Don’t need your frosting, I’ll make my own
Don’t need your crumbs, I’ll build my throne

(Chorus)
Glitter and sprinkles, you want me for the show
Pretty on the surface, but you’ll never know
Painted-on smiles, we’re faking through the day
But I won’t be your cupcake, just to throw away
Glitter and sprinkles, you want me when it’s sweet
But I’m not your topping, I’m more than your treat

(Outro)
So keep your glitter, keep your sprinkles too
I’ll find real magic—don’t need you

Here's a little something I'm cooking up for a concert next year. 
It's based on the Epitaph of Seikilos, which is the earliest surviving complete song.

I tried to give it a flavour of Antiquity, and to create unexpected harmonies.
Haven't come up with lyrics yet; though it will start with the original Ancient Greek text translated into English.

Maybe my piano part is a bit too thin? Or perhaps I should keep it sparse? 

The notation is intended for midi, and I'll be adjusting the dynamics upwards by at least one degree for the musicians.
When I make the final score, I'm intending to write out the spread stacked chords in full as arpeggios. 
 

N.B. Score updates will be posted further down the thread.