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Your compositions are sounding a lot more purposeful, which is great. Congratulations on your imporvement. I do think the modulation is quite "crunchy", as you called it. I think that in this case, you could go way simpler than that. G - D7 - Am - Em - Bm - E7 - A Major or Minor, you decide. If this is used with good voice leading, it will make up for a really smooth modulation. Other paths are surely possible, I was just sujesting something for you to try. Good luck!