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ilv

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ilv last won the day on September 11

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  1. I don't know much about composition and college, so I can't give you much information there. I can't give you much hope, either, so I'm going to give you critiques that I think are most appropriate. College Audition Piece M. 5-7: the left hand should be an octave lower because the right hand sometimes plays its notes and that's technically insane difficult. C# in m.6 does not fit well with the notes in the right hand because there are no chords in either hand and there should not be a prominent leading tone in both the melody line and the bass line. To fix this, I think an A in the left hand of m.6 should fix it. The resolution at the beginning of m.7 is weird, like @Monarcheon said. m. 8: the left hand is also too high and share notes with the right hand. Not technically possible. m.9 onwards: the figure in the left hand is not nice at a slow tempo, so you could change the tempo here. Also, the right hand does not need to play a triad from m. 9-10, as I feel it's unnecessary. A D in m.9 right hand is enough. m.12: The dominant chord with a pedal tone in the bass isn't the greatest thing here, but it doesn't sound terrible. m.14: the left hand change progression too late. This is fixed to an extent in m.15. M.15: the right hand should begin with a dominant chord and not an inverted tonic chord. Also, there's a weird leap, though this isn't a weird issue. m.18: I think this measure is unnecessary. I'm expecting the tonic chord here. m.19: both hands start on a high note, which isn't a very logical idea because you're coming from below. Also, the left hand should play a vastly different rhythm from the right. This also applies to subsequent measures. The end of this bar and certain parts of subsequent bars don't sound son nice because the left hand doesn't fit well with the right hand harmonically. I can't explain what is wrong, but @Monarcheon could very well be right. Even I have difficulty understanding some of the language in that post, but that's my problem. m.22 is good. The end is good, but this piece is too short overall and can be developped way more. Rhapsody: Overall, I would like to see more complex harmonies, since you have more voices to work with. Everyone should play different notes except in special cases, and it's hard to write rules around those special cases. m.1: The bass should always sound lower than the cello. Also, someone (either violin 1, violin 2 or viola) should play straight eighth notes for a better flow into m.2. m.2: violin 2 moves above violin 1 and that is, unfortunately, incorrect. m.3: viola drops out unexpectedly. m.5: C# in violin 2 doesn't fit. I don't think it's a good idea to have such a note at the end of a bar and the harmony is D minor tonic chord. m.6: The notes in the top 3 parts seem to be better suited for dominant harmony. m.7: You can either continue using D minor chord for the bottom 2 voices or change F to E in violin 2. m.9: it would be nice to have the viola play something other than D. The second violin and viola can hold their notes as long as cello or bass, or vice versa. m.9-15: Mezzo-staccatos on 16ths would be very hard to execute unless done very slowly. m.16: odd use of pizzicato. The cello should be higher than the bass and the two instruments share notes too much. This whole section is too static and can vary more harmonically, melodically and rhythmically. m.33: the bass part does not fit with the cello part. It could play the same or similar thing as the cello. The resolution int eh next bar is weird because I'm expecting the E to resolve to D (tonic) and not Bb (submediant. m.35-36: there's an augmented 2nd in the second violin. It still sounds okay, but it's theoretically incorrect. m.37: too many As in upper strings. I think 2nd violin should play C# or G. m.46: C and then C# sounds awkward. The 6/8 section could be way more eveloped and there can be more harmonic and rhythmic complexity. Test piece: The left hand could move more. This test piece is clearly incomplete and needs to be developed much further. Theme: This is definitely incomplete and needs to be further developed. m.1: The double bass should play the tonic note. Starting on an inverted chord is weird. m.3: I think you want a dominant triad/7th chord here, or you could have the dominant triad/7th come in at the end of the bar. m.5: Bass should resolve to the tonic chord. m.5: Also applies to measure 2: As shuold be B-flats. m.8: Bass should play tonic note.
  2. Rejuvinating Realm

    Nice piece. The trumpet intro was nice and it fit well. My only critique is about the use of chords with a leading tone in the bass. There was one such chord and it sounded kind of awkward because certain tones were missing.
  3. Sketch No. 246

    I think there's definitely some jazz influences.
  4. I felt it was a little repetitive. You can make some variations on subsequent repetitions.
  5. Hungarian dance (piano and violin)

    I'd like to give feedback, but can't find the music.
  6. Scherzo for orchestra

    Good job overall. I felt this piece was a bit too repetitive at the beginning. A few things that could use a look at: 0:3 and whenever this chord progression comes back: I don't think a C should belong during this chord progression. You seem to imply the use of a dominant 7th chord here. 0:18 and other occurences of this progression: I don't think an F is necessary, but this is an optional change. 0:33: The D in the flute part could very well be an error. 1:39: I think you want a tonic chord here. C-sharp shouldn't be in a tonic chord of E major excpet in the melody line. 1:52: awkward transition to theme section. 2:11: this also applies to occurences at the beginning, but I think you're looking for the dominant 7th of G minor, so I would advise you to make A-flat an A-natural.
  7. Form of a Pavan

    I think it's ABA.
  8. flucold - electric guitar trio

    For background purposes, this is awesome. However, as a concert piece, I would want more melodic motion. Also, it would be nice if you added a bass line, perhaps with a bass guitar.
  9. Me And My Baby

    Beautiful song. It was nice overall. One small detail at 1:18: I felt that the C in the bass was unnecessary, but it's not a mandatory change. Also, the accompaniment could vary more.
  10. Theme and Four Variations for Quartet of Flutes

    Good job overall. ote that all note names given are in concert pitch. A few things to look at: 0:30: an F# minor root position triad was likely intended here considering what the melody notes are. Also occurs later in the piece 0:36: the high C# should probably resolve to something, though I don't think this change is mandatory. Also, there are other unresolved high notes. 0:48: the F#5 should be an E5 0:56: D3 in the bass doesn't sound nice. Occurs later in the piece. 1:40: You might want to change G#5 to E5 for a nice cadence.
  11. Prélude nr 3 for piano

    Good job overall. This reminds me of some of Chopin's preludes. A few things to look at: 0:10: keep the melodic motion going 0:15: awkward 7th leap Around 0:55: a note seemed to be cut short Also, I thought this piece was incomplete, though it would flow nicely into a larger work.
  12. Fluid Motion

    This is excellent background music. There is little development, but that's okay for background purposes.
  13. Butterfly Dance (flute quartet)

    Nice job. I find the harmonies really interesting and beautiful. They're rather impressionistic, but that's okay. I think you can still have the score transposed.
  14. Ambiental track

    Good job overall. This is great background music. I noticed some minor 2nds, which weren't the nicest thing. Also, I felt like this piece didn't really go very far and could, perhaps, be a little less repetitive, but background music can be more static and repetitive and less melodic than concert music.
  15. "The Magic White And Pink Rose"

    Good job overall. Prominent 7ths between melody and harmony are not nice except in 7th chords, but that's all.
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