Thanks for your feedback everyone!
@Luis Hernández Listening back, I definitely used the wrong string patch, and it really doesn't do the piece justice. I have since upgraded to LA Scoring Strings and will probably release a version with that patch. I also agree about countermelodies, I will probably revise this piece after I finish a larger project.
@Maarten Bauer Appreciate the tips greatly, I'm still new to scoring and so I wasn't sure what the layout should be.
@Kvothe I screenshotted parts of the score, then put them together with the track in Final Cut X