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Everything posted by Monarcheon

  1. I don't adore this soundtrack or anything; it has its problems, imo, but I think this is a slightly more lighthearted version of what you're going for. Violin comes in pretty early and does a good job of being relevant while also serving as a covering melody.
  2. It was fine until the violin came in on top. The chord tones it aims for a little off and its relative lack of momentum is fine, but might want a little bit of a better lead-in.
  3. Thanks very much. The whole suite this piece is used in is also up, if you're interested.
  4. I feel like the move onto the second half of each antecedent phrase is like a little too short? Like a 7/8? The lack of change in that figure is a bit disappointing.
  5. The texture for the vast majority of the front end of the piece got a little tiresome after a bit.
  6. Wind/string doubling at the unison is a little strange... maybe it's because it's a secondary voice in counterpoint instead of the main one like in Schubert No. 8?
  7. Did you compose this on staff notation? If so, it wildly needs to be reworked, making sure the right voices are in the right layers, time signatures, etc. Even if not, I think you have good melodic instincts, but they're undercut by a uniform texture that could have more independent elements.
  8. The arpeggiations in the "guitar" are quite nice, but the flute doesn't seem to quite know what to do over them. Lots of modal motion, yes, but I struggle to hear a pattern. In addition, I think you can limit how many places of solo instrument there are; some of the work, but there are quite a few and make the piece feel sectional.
  9. It sounds like you're mostly going for a Romantic-ish kind of sound, so I feel I should bring up the harmonic disconnect throughout a lot of the piece, not helped by the motivic counterpoint between a lot of instruments being unhelpful to the overall texture (it just clutters it). Some unnecessarily multifunctional chord choices make the voice leading and chord progressions rougher.
  10. Transition into 41 was nice, and I could have used a lot more of that smoothness throughout the rest of it, like the first transition; it felt a bit off to me. A little more rhythmic ambiguity ambiguity might be nice a la Bartok, since the syncopations there now I don't think quite get that effect.
  11. Not sure what "you cannot escape means", but I might consider re-meter-ing some bars to make hits more conducive to be on downbeats, for performance purposes.
  12. Not a competition. I'd just like to invite everyone to write a piece to describe how shi– I mean, wonderful the world's situation is at the moment. Not worried? That's fine, you don't need to post if you don't want. Thought this might be interesting.
  13. Any opinions on expanding it to a three movement sort of thing?
  14. Numbers on their own are for fingers. Numbers in a ring/circle are for string. Numbers in Roman numerals are for position. C then a roman numeral means bar in that position.
  15. It's from a work called "The Yellow Wallpaper" by Charlotte Perkins Gilman so I was considering expanding it to include the struggles with the narrator's relationship to John, then her mental breakdown at the end, adding 2 more movements. But this may be enough...
  16. 9 and 45 were I think my two biggest points. 9 because you have a good eighth note thing going then you augment it right before the climax; seems a little counterintuitive. 45 because the texture of the build skyrockets maybe a bit too much from the eighth notes prior, but, as you say, perhaps it's preferential. All my job is is to point some possible things out.
  17. For me it might be a bit slow for a chase, though the chord choice and general intervals you use are definitely apt. C7(#9) is great for that kind of atmosphere. The synth near the end was a little iffy for me. Might have not matched as well.
  18. Wasn't sure whether or not to expand this, but I used the all-interval tetrachord constraint to build this piece. It's a little jumpy, but so is the source material, in its own way.
  19. Voice and guitar tradeoffs are interesting, but the rest of this is rather flat to me (not in the pitch sense, necessarily). Some texture changes with the guitar sound or your more out-there chords could be brought out more in little moments.
  20. I struggle to hear a throughline with your voice leading. I don't know, for example, if your fourths are making use of chord tone associates or trying to make a compound melody with parallel fourths, but both have strange implications when related to later parts of the piece.
  21. It's a nice sound generally, though the use of parallel close dissonances throws me off somewhat, especially in the beginning.
  22. It's a particular style, definitely. I get a little bored of the use of direct appoggiatura suspensions. For example, the motion part right before the end was nice, but could incorporate that idea via compound melody.
  23. It's really quite nice for most of it, though the A section's piano figure might get a bit tiresome... I think you can afford to have some other instruments provide motion besides piano as well.
  24. Welcome back, glad to see you. Love the 4-18 sound you use and how it's voiceled around the piece. Main issue I here personally are some moments of phrasal climax seem undercut by some element, be it lack of submetrical assistance all the way to a sudden texture change. Might also question some of the responsorial textures you have betwen choir and piano (the blend becomes far smoother as the piece progresses); overall though, this is a really nice work.
  25. I meant a theoretical Schenkerian "prolong", not a temporal prolong. Scales have a tendency to do this.
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