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Rabbival507

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Everything posted by Rabbival507

  1. @LayneBruce Look, some of the rhythms were really cool but: 1. it felt more as if it should appear at the end of a piece, more of a final. You didn't give the material enough time to sink into the listener's ears. I do know "one summer's day", and yet I felt as if you... just didn't use it enough. 2. The feeling of the original piece... I'd at least make some part with a smoother... jazz-like feeling or something. I mean, it should be way calmer than that. Usually in Gihbli movies where the percussionists get to express themselves the thematic materials are almost gone. And you chose a piece full of calm thematic material. Shouldn't you use something more like... this? https://youtu.be/aaUuLXQgUQ8?t=374
  2. Try pasting a link to the web page in which the piece is played? This could have been great for a game, sounds like a Zelda-adventure, with a sound a little darker. I think you should consider changing the balance of the piece, in many places the bass and accompaniment are louder than the melody itself. Around 2:50 it changes flavor, you add some interesting drums and choir, but then it's lost quickly afterwards. I think you should keep these, although it's not bad the way it is. Also I see that you're a new user so you should note that notes will probably get you the best reviews. I can't give a good analysis only by ear.
  3. The ticking is too repetitive, at least for me. Due to the lack of lyric melodic material in the first minute my brain heard almost entirely "tick tick" over and over again. It could be a fighting scene, but of which kind? That's kind of ambient so I'd assume that's some sort of open world 3D thing? Like say... the Elder Scrolls? The rhythm at the end is better, should have been like that for the entire piece. You might want to rethink it, with more percussion of different heights, maybe an irregular time signature, and a more rhythmic texture. Here, this one is one of my favorites in the entire soundtrack, you might want to give it a listen: https://youtu.be/bdL1P0p0zco?t=7290
  4. @DMT Man that was really cool. Not only the the 7/8, but the scale (is this an Hungarian Minor?) and the language mixed together to create a beautiful thing. What does the lyrics mean? Do you consider adding ethnic instruments as well?
  5. @Hughes Thank you so much for the detailed review! I'm glad you like it, I've been thinking about a darker second part in a long time, I just don't find the time or inspiration for this piece. About your harp and other quiet instruments- sometimes I gave them place (say to the Eng horn after the first main theme), sometimes I put them there for a more complex, detailed, texture. I highly enjoy listening to music with tiny voices running around in the background for a more complete texture. The harp is not heard because I believe that's just how loud it would get. Guess I should ask the others to play more quietly so the listeners would be able to hear it sometimes. Maybe I'll give it more important parts in the second part, at the moment it's there for gentle touches of grace once in a while. Thanks again for the detailed review! I haven't got such a good review in... I think a year? I'll upload the next part once I make it but that might take a long time...
  6. About your first note- I meant for the Viola to pop out for a sec, and wanted it to be a little... bolder there. Thank you for the review :)
  7. Impressive to say the least. Guess I have a new rock genre to discover
  8. @celloman99 I'm glad you like it :) I've been checking the piece for reviews every weekend the past month XD Yes, you're right, these slurs might actually be too long. I'll reconstract it. Thanks for the review!
  9. Yea that might be a little too ominous, depends on what kind of garden this is. I like the fact that it has this melodic fragment in the middle, you might want to develop it a little further? Maybe on a lower register? Overall it sounds good, could fit a video game, depends on the situation.
  10. The piece is based on a European version of the second part of a Jewish Chant called "These Candles". It is said on the holiday of light which is... in about a month and a half from now. Titled "a Prayer for a Light Long Forgotten" the piece is meant to take the listener into a dark night on a pagan ancient tribe, a night in which from darkness, by prayer, grows a big light (say, they light a great bonefire and dance around it). Thus, I try to make the piece go from darkness to light using scale, chords colors, register, tempo etc. Please listen and tell me what you think of it, any reviews are welcome, especially the critical ones.
  11. What kind of anime opening is this? It's great, really, especially the opening. I can't bear to hear this chord progression but now I read your description and understood you had no choice.
  12. Great piece, two notes that you might want to consider: 1. The layout is kind of weird, I'd keep things in one stave (say, instead of three clarinet lines I'd put them as three voices when split and write "div" before and "unis" after), also I wonder why you put the percussion at the lower staves. Usually it's the strings. I'd get it if they had a way bigger role than the strings, but it's fairly the same. Which brings me to the second point: 2. Why won't you let the strings have an important role in the piece? I mean, it's bar-sized notes most of the time. I understand that you might not want to give them the bigger stage but this... try and open the notes from the first violinist's view and see what he sees.
  13. @MedwedianPresident I'm not sure that I can be that much of a help but I'll try. First off- you composed a piece! Great! You took your first step to begin with. Hooray. About the piece itself- it seems like you present an interesting idea at the beginning... and never come back to it. The only thing I saw repeating was the triplet in the chord. Maybe you should revisit this one, give the listener a "hey, do you remember this?" Other than that, you might want to try different accompaniments other than a simple chord (try more special chords, try walking base, try counterpoints[secondary voices]). About making the piece longer... other than revisiting your first idea you can try and develop the piece regarding to a story or a line. For example my new piece is built according to this "beautiful" initial sketch: It's not much but it's way easier to compose a piece when you have a line to follow. Wish you good luck!
  14. I think that you've made a beautiful piece. The second part didn't really feel heroic, but it felt stronger, 1:14 is the part where people would probably burst into tears. Felt like this: https://youtu.be/eY49xEQGqMw?t=55 I like both folk music, cello and emotional pieces, your piece felt like a great combination of these elements. I had fun listening to it and listened four times before moving to other pieces. *1:26 is this a Dorian mode chord? I'm sorry I'm kind of addicted to Dorian can't ignore it when my ear hears a "brighter minor"
  15. About half a year ago I admitted to one of my friends: "I haven't composed a thing in a few months! It seems like I just don't have the time for it any more." he told me that I can make a short piece for piano, and I decided to add a twist, thinking to myself: 'I'm going to make a collection of pieces for two people and one piano!" It took a while (half a year apparently), but I now have a collection of seven original pieces for four hands! yey! Now you must be thinking "the hell does he want from me? I came here for an orchestral piece!" Ah! There's a second part for the story! A month ago I decided to experiment with one of the pieces, thinking: "This one sounds like it could fit as an opening to a video game, but it has to be more... orchestral!" I've never written a piece for a full orchestra and now the time has come. Here's what I ask from you, the reviewer (of course, these are just guidelines, you don't have to answer everything): 1. Criticize mainly the orchestration: *Things that made sense to me but wouldn't make sense in a performance (Instruments too quiet, too little of a time to switch between instruments, the Bassoon won't hear the bass well, etc.) *Things that are put in the wrong instrument ("Are you crazy? a Tuba can't make a trill in such a low register! You know what? a Tuba shouldn't make a trill at all!") *Things that are just not written the way I wrote them 2. Criticize it as a composition (I'll upload the original four hands pieces so you can have a look at a simpler version) *Is the melody too much of a cliche? ("That sounds a little like a mix between the Shire theme and a regular fanfare!" [I promise you I didn't have the Shire in mind, I just thought of it about an hour ago and now I'm scared that I'll have to start from scratch]) *Are the harmonies and scales too simple? *Is it too short? (because I've been told that it is, but doesn't really want to make it more than a cute and short fanfare, might change my mind though) *What about the rhythm? Too repetitive to the point it sounds like a loop and not like a fanfare? 3. Tell me whether you think it could fit in an adventure montage in a movie or as an opening for a computer game. 4. For those who are more familiar with my works (If there are any here)... do you recognize the references? Huge thanks in advance! That's the only thing I've been doing on my free time for a month now, would really appreciate some reviews! a Call for Adventure midi.mid
  16. @Some Guy That writes Music I'm sorry but taking a quick look at the notes this seems a little too long and static to review. I mean I'm not saying this in order to insult or something, the world's forest's disappearance is indeed a painful issue. I'm saying that because I think that in order to get some reviews you should make a shorter version. "HIghlights from Disappearing Forest" or something. Also I wonder... why did you use a string orchestra for that? Wouldn't you get a more "foresty" sound with a wind quartet?
  17. @epii Please send it to the creators of Overcooked, it's cute and uplifting, could feel great with the rest of the soundtrack.
  18. Might be done, might not be. A friend of mine (@Jehonathan Sher Lipschitz) is making a piece for pitched percussion ensemble (due to my limited number of plugins, the audio might not be exactly the same as the notes). Should he develop the piece any further? Is the instrumentation good? What do you think about the rhythm and harmony? Any thoughts are welcome :)
  19. You have some great sounds, great runs that amplify the epic feeling. Please excuse me, I'm tired and kind of thought "well I have some time to review another piece before I go to sleep", so I'm simply going to lay out the points that are problematic from my point of view, things that you might want to take another gaze at: 1. You might want to avoid the repetitive bass drum at the beginning. I don't remember where, but I read somewhere that epic pieces should use big booms once in a while. 2. the part where the guitar gets in feels suddenly unconnected. The easiest way, welcome in this genre, is to use a reversed splash cymbal or a "woosh to hit" to ease the transformation. 3. I believe that you use a little too many instruments for a 3 minute piece. I tended to do it as well at my first two years when I "just wanted to make the piece go forward by adding a new color, therefore adding a new instrument". This one leads us to point four. 4. Use dynamics more. Remember- you have to start small, or at least have some softer parts in the middle. You can grow back from there, it's important that you let the listener's ears rest a little, and then give them something much greater in comparison. I hears that around 2:10 you took out everything but the guitar but... I don't know, it kind of felt like you decided to leave one color in your painting rather than painting in some warmer/softer colors here and there. 5. Some parts lack bass. Do you know the Inception brass? This "BRaaaah"? They tend to put these in epic music. (https://youtu.be/830I9w7I7wM) I heard that you used piano bass notes, which is a sound that I personally really like, but at some parts it lost some of it's power because there just wasn't enough bass. At least it felt that way for me. Here's an epic piece I enjoy listening to: https://youtu.be/J-0TcwJT4go Here she uses a group of small percussion instruments to "keep it moving" and makes good transition and scale changes using dynamics and harmonic changes. Yes, she uses a lot of instruments, but the progress doesn't come from there. I encourage you to take a listen to this, maybe to other boss fights to computer games? Try to learn from there. It's not that you piece isn't good, but you can always try and make it better, or make the next one better. Hope you have fun and that I wasn't too harsh on you. I'm going to sleep now, hope that was helpful.
  20. You managed to do two things that I've been trying to do well for a long LONG while and still don't manage to do so! (these are: writing a complete piece in a major scale &&(and) adding chords that don't belong to the scale in a way that doesn't sound out of place) However, some points that require your thought: 1. These would sound muddy. Remember- the smaller the interval the more muddy it sounds on a lower register. I'd advise you not to play a third below bass clef's middle C. I mean, these could be used to achieve a specific sound, I just don't think that they fit well in this piece. 1.5 The way you spread the voices is... unusual. Normally there are fewer notes (in bigger intervals, look at 1) on the bass clef and a chord (or a more voices with a possibility for closer intervals) on the treble clef. 2. These might be hard to perform together. I'd make the lower one two triplet-eights then one. That's an important point because it recourse all over the piece. In general- I think that these two (and a half?) point could be fixed if you'll simply try to play the piece (unless you don't want it to be performed). I admit that I don't try to play most of my piano pieces, but when I do I find out many "bugs" that would take a much longer time to find without a performance. I hope this was helpful, and that you have fun performing your piece if you try to do so.
  21. The Clarinet here and the bassoon a few bars afterwards might find it difficult to catch their breath: You might want to make them take turns at playing this line. Although, maybe the tempo is fast enough thus giving them enough time to breath. So far- very good motivic development. You might want to change the left hand to treble here: I highly enjoyed the ending of the first movement. The second movement is beautiful, the colors and harmonies are just great. It's clear that you've been composing for a long time. Currently listening to the third movement, I'm starting to be a little tired of all these triplets. I mean, you were already doing "triplet runs" all over the first movement. It's still a powerful movement though, and you gave the orchestra lots of time to express themselves. This, too, isn't very new. The third movement feels more like a continuation of the first one. But maybe that's what you meant there to be? Sweet ending. You surely know how to write advanced well built piano sections. I never succeeded much in making such complex ones. Well done, other than some little notes and a few unnecessary repetitions- you've composed a brilliant piece.
  22. @PeteHarrison Look at this sorry monkey Let us know when you put it back online.
  23. I like the use of quote, feels appropriate to the situation. Yes, it gets atonal at some places. And yet- 1. Waltz is a pretty absurd way to describe riots. You might have meant it and yet I believe one would expect a more "broken" waltz. Miss some beats, make syncopations, insert a bar of 7 or 5 eights at random places. 2. It seems to... resolve. At many places. I don't think that it stands up to your idea. Yes, I saw that you suspended resolution at some places. and yet... it has lots of little cadences and one big finale like a classical piece. One way to avoid resolution would be using a whole tone scale (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVV0jkZC4jI&feature=youtu.be), maybe you should try that out. 3. The sudden fermatas and complete breaks kind of loosen the effect. I understand that it comes from a place of "let's surprise the listener with a sudden stop", but to me it feels more like you blow the wind out of the sails. Insert a different surprise there instead. Maybe a sudden pitch shift, maybe sudden chromatic slide. About the protest... all I can do is do what the world usually does- look from the side, give a note or two, then go back to my own problems. My state is going to monarchy as well. Hope that we won't have to get to this situation. Hope all is well for you and your family.
  24. Could be a pop song of some sort. Try and define what exactly you were trying to do, then ask yourself- should it really be as repetitive? Can I change something? The harmony? Maybe the rhythm? Should I develop my motive further? Should I add a counter motive? Maybe I should simply try and compose something new just to keep composing? My first piece was... awkwardly repetitive ... looked something like that: because I just thought like "isn't this rhythmic idea cool" and basically kept it exactly the same during the entire piece (I think it's about 3 minutes long). Of course, it could be used for something. a repetitive pattern can contribute a lot to a piece's texture (https://youtu.be/APIKVLw1tT0). Yet, you might want to give a further thought to your piece, try some new grounds. The worst thing that could happen really is that you'll hear how it sounds, would not think it's as good, and then try something else or go back to your familiar ground.
  25. Thanks @Madeline Newson, Do you, by any chance, happen to be a mountain climber?
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