A Relationship's Memoirs

Finally managed to transcribe this!

https://musescore.com/user/12518851/scores/2674751

My original intention was to imitate a valse, but around the middle mark I started abandoning that idea. I know there are some really weird stuff written here, but bear in mind that I composed this piece over three years ago, before I had any intention of transcribing my music at all. 

Also, some of the stuff I tried to put in the score sound very awkward - mainly change of tempo and grace notes. MuseScore is terrible with grace notes, anything other than an acciaccatura takes up like 2 beats for some reason, so I had to put acciaccaturas to make it sound somewhat audible. There are also some accelerandos, ritardandos, rubatos, etc. that are completely lost in the score and I feel like I have no way to properly put them on paper.

Anyway, any feedback is greatly appreciated!

1. Some of the way your resolve fifths and thirds in your melody are awkward. Jumping to tonics while under a tonic tone in the bass is awkward sounding.
2. mm. 25, 42: No reason to use E-double flats. 
3. m. 43: awkward cluster.
4. m. 126: V7 chord doesn't follow the progression, making it sound awkward.
5. m. 155: G minor over G major.
6. mm. 163, 172, 191: A naturals with A flats in arpeggios.
7. m. 176: no reason to go into 6/4 really... why not just keep it consistent.
8. mm. 253, 291: no third
9. m. 316: gross. Fix it. Accidentals are basic and are not to be assumed to carry through octaves nowadays.

Transition work is absolutely necessary here... it jumps around way too much, which impedes on its ability to sound like a waltz especially when there are non-wlatz phrases and times thrown in there. 

It's a lot to put together and I respect that, just make sure it all flows naturally. Nothing more important in a waltz. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npg11G8ZkAY

2 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

1. Some of the way your resolve fifths and thirds in your melody are awkward. Jumping to tonics while under a tonic tone in the bass is awkward sounding.
2. mm. 25, 42: No reason to use E-double flats. 
3. m. 43: awkward cluster.
4. m. 126: V7 chord doesn't follow the progression, making it sound awkward.
5. m. 155: G minor over G major.
6. mm. 163, 172, 191: A naturals with A flats in arpeggios.
7. m. 176: no reason to go into 6/4 really... why not just keep it consistent.
8. mm. 253, 291: no third
9. m. 316: gross. Fix it. Accidentals are basic and are not to be assumed to carry through octaves nowadays.

Transition work is absolutely necessary here... it jumps around way too much, which impedes on its ability to sound like a waltz especially when there are non-wlatz phrases and times thrown in there. 

It's a lot to put together and I respect that, just make sure it all flows naturally. Nothing more important in a waltz. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npg11G8ZkAY

 

 

Thank you for your feedback! Most of these are simply notation mistakes but I greatly appreciate them; I was so fed up transcribing this that I didn't notice. I'm not sure with what you mean by "awkward cluster" though.

One question, though. I changed into 6/4 thinking to avoid the "two beats divided by 3" (and therefore a minor accent in the fourth time) that goes in 6/8. Was this a wrong call?

Sorry if this question is too basic, I'm not versed in composition!

P.S. Reminder that this is not actually a waltz; I'm not trying to make music based on a musical form. I just took inspiration from waltzes and went from there.

It's technically correct, yeah, but there's no real point if it's mirroring what the previous passage did in 6/8. That's all.

Hmmmm.... This still functions as a waltz.

My biggest critique is that the piece is rhythmically static and strophic.   Change up your melodies some to give the music some breath. The melody is catchy but add some more flavor to it to give it that kick!