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Sonatina for Violin and Piano


MusicianXX12
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Hello,

The music until m.12 is very nice in my opinion. The 'oompah' figure (I am not totally sure this is the right term for this figure) in eighth notes in the piano accompaniment gives the piece an extra dancing dimension. The interaction between the violin and piano is interesting.

The sudden transition from theme A to theme B feels weird. The A theme doesn't sound finished for me. It's too short. After having extended this A theme, you can maybe try to add a transition section to make the transition from theme A to theme B smoother.
In m.29 you introduce a third melody, but I don't like this melody in contrast to the other two. The melody and accompaniment don't blend very well. Actually the notes in both the melody and accompaniment sound pretty random sometimes.

I like the dialogue between the violin and piano from m.41. Very smart!
You called this piece a sonatina and the composition sounds classical. I am curious why you didn't choose to write the composition in sonata form.
After the repetition of the first section you develop the themes a little bit, but there is no clear recapitulation.
Of course not every piece (first movement) with the name 'sonat(in)a' has to be in this form, but I would like to know your thoughts about this decision.

By the way, you really should fix the lay-out of the first four bars (and at some other places). To be honest, it's a mess at the four bars at the beginning.

Maarten

Edited by Maarten Bauer
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3 hours ago, Maarten Bauer said:

Hello,

The music until m.12 is very nice in my opinion. The 'oompah' figure (I am not totally sure this is the right term for this figure) in eighth notes in the piano accompaniment gives the piece an extra dancing dimension. The interaction between the violin and piano is interesting.

The sudden transition from theme A to theme B feels weird. The A theme doesn't sound finished for me. It's too short. After having extended this A theme, you can maybe try to add a transition section to make the transition from theme A to theme B smoother.
In m.29 you introduce a third melody, but I don't like this melody in contrast to the other two. The melody and accompaniment don't blend very well. Actually the notes in both the melody and accompaniment sound pretty random sometimes.

I like the dialogue between the violin and piano from m.41. Very smart!
You called this piece a sonatina and the composition sounds classical. I am curious why you didn't choose to write the composition in sonata form.
After the repetition of the first section you develop the themes a little bit, but there is no clear recapitulation.
Of course not every piece (first movement) with the name 'sonat(in)a' has to be in this form, but I would like to know your thoughts about this decision.

By the way, you really should fix the lay-out of the first four bars (and at some other places). To be honest, it's a mess at the four bars at the beginning.

Maarten

 

Maarten,

Thanks so much for such a thorough analysis of my music!

As I said before, I was writing a short piece for a student and for a self-teaching, exploring the sonata principles. I kept in mind the kinds of didactic pieces that I used to play when studying violin. It has been intended to be a one movement piece. Of course, I do accept the most of your thoughts in reference to the use of the form. In terms of the lay-out of the first six bars, could you, please, be more specific? I would appreciate your comments a lot. Thanks again!

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52 minutes ago, MusicianXX12 said:

Maarten,

Thanks so much for such a thorough analysis of my music!

As I said before, I was writing a short piece for a student and for a self-teaching, exploring the sonata principles. I kept in mind the kinds of didactic pieces that I used to play when studying violin. It has been intended to be a one movement piece. Of course, I do accept the most of your thoughts in reference to the use of the form. In terms of the lay-out of the first six bars, could you, please, be more specific? I would appreciate your comments a lot. Thanks again!

 

With fixing the lay-out I mean the (visual) lay-out of the score. In the PDF you attached to your post the lay-out could (or sometimes must) be improved at some places.
These are all places where you should change the score to ordered sheet music that is easy to read:

  • Mm. 1 - 4: This passage in the piano must be laid-out again, because the notes, articulation and dynamic markings and rest are overlapping each other, which makes it very hard to read (while playing).
  • Mm. 19 - 20. Piano. Crescendo. This crescendo that touches the notes is not very disturbing, but if you can easily change it, change it.
  • Mm. 53 - 54. Piano. Legato bow. Not very disturbing, but if you can easily change it, change it.

There are some more details, but I don't want to be that person that runs down on the details.
I hope this helps!

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2 minutes ago, MusicianXX12 said:

Thanks, Maarten!

Would you have a chance to review the PDF of "The Admiralty Walz", as you asked before? I know, it is a lot, but your opinion is important to me. Thanks again! 

Tobias

 

Hello Tobias,

Of course, I would love to review it. Although I cannot promise I will review it today.

Maarten

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  • 1 month later...

Sorry I'm late. Good job overall, it's good, but a few things could be tweaked.

0:19 and 0:21: inappropriate use of E-flat in left hand

0:26: inappropriate use of F in right hand

0:32: chord progression change in right hand was too late

It is extremely difficult for a violinist (or other string player for that matter) to play octaves that quick.

1:0 and 3:20: missing chord changes

1:5: it would be nice if the low Bbs in the left hand were  replaced with Fs

1:9: inappropriate use of Ds in right hand

1:11: unnecessary B-natural in left hand, could be corrected by removing natural sign

1:12: ear expects E-flat major chord

Everything I said about the A section applies for the recap. You can vary it a bit.

2:52: you seem to be in G major. The F-natural in the violin part is likely a mistake and should be replaced by F#.

3:3 and 3:52: G preffered over F# (violin part)

3:5 and 3:42: awkward

3:26-3:33: runs do not go well with the harmony

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On 6/27/2017 at 11:46 AM, Maarten Bauer said:

With fixing the lay-out I mean the (visual) lay-out of the score. In the PDF you attached to your post the lay-out could (or sometimes must) be improved at some places.
These are all places where you should change the score to ordered sheet music that is easy to read:

  • Mm. 1 - 4: This passage in the piano must be laid-out again, because the notes, articulation and dynamic markings and rest are overlapping each other, which makes it very hard to read (while playing).
  • Mm. 19 - 20. Piano. Crescendo. This crescendo that touches the notes is not very disturbing, but if you can easily change it, change it.
  • Mm. 53 - 54. Piano. Legato bow. Not very disturbing, but if you can easily change it, change it.

There are some more details, but I don't want to be that person that runs down on the details.
I hope this helps!

 

Maarten,

Here is the revised version of Sonatina for violin and piano.

Regards!

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21 hours ago, MusicianXX12 said:

Maarten,

Here is the revised version of Sonatina for violin and piano.

Regards!

MP3

 
 
  • Sonatina for Violin and Piano Revised
2:04
 
 
3:12
 
PDF

Good job! Great that you have revised it.

I like the development section! The interaction between the violin and piano is really nice. M.59. Something went wrong in the harmony: the music is very dissonant here and it does not sound logical. You should look at that part again.

The lay-out issues are still present. Assuming that my feedback was not clear enough, I will now give you all places where you should or even need to change the lay-out.

Mm. 1 - 4: Knipsel.JPG
Rests and dynamics everywhere. It's a mess (sorry to say).

Mm. 18 - 20: Knipsel.JPG
The cresc. in the piano part touches the left hand notes. This is, however, a minor issue.

M. 21: Knipsel.JPG
The forte touches the arpeggio. This is, however, a minor issue.

M. 40: Knipsel.JPG

The eighth rest in the left hand touches the quarter notes in the left hand.

Mm. 70 - 71: Knipsel.JPG
The dynamics, legato bows, staccato dots and rests touch each other in m. 70. Furthermore the rests in m. 71 can be omitted when you change the low G in the upper part to the same voice as the higher G.

Mm. 79 - 80: Knipsel.JPG
Again, rests touch the notes. in the left hand piano part.

Mm. 81 - 82: Knipsel.JPG
The same applies as in mm. 79 - 80: Rests touch the notes. in the left hand piano part.

Mm. 86 - 89: Knipsel.JPG

Strange rests and some touch the left hand quarter notes.

M. 90: Knipsel.JPG
The same issue: a rest touchs the left hand notes.

 

In conclusion, I think you have done well. Lay-out remains an issue and although laying out is considered less important than music by some souls, it is in fact very important. The clearer the score, the clearer it is for the performer(s) to analyse and understand your work, the better the music will sound and be played.

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2 hours ago, Maarten Bauer said:

Good job! Great that you have revised it.

I like the development section! The interaction between the violin and piano is really nice. M.59. Something went wrong in the harmony: the music is very dissonant here and it does not sound logical. You should look at that part again.

The lay-out issues are still present. Assuming that my feedback was not clear enough, I will now give you all places where you should or even need to change the lay-out.

Mm. 1 - 4: Knipsel.JPG
Rests and dynamics everywhere. It's a mess (sorry to say).

Mm. 18 - 20: Knipsel.JPG
The cresc. in the piano part touches the left hand notes. This is, however, a minor issue.

M. 21: Knipsel.JPG
The forte touches the arpeggio. This is, however, a minor issue.

M. 40: Knipsel.JPG

The eighth rest in the left hand touches the quarter notes in the left hand.

Mm. 70 - 71: Knipsel.JPG
The dynamics, legato bows, staccato dots and rests touch each other in m. 70. Furthermore the rests in m. 71 can be omitted when you change the low G in the upper part to the same voice as the higher G.

Mm. 79 - 80: Knipsel.JPG
Again, rests touch the notes. in the left hand piano part.

Mm. 81 - 82: Knipsel.JPG
The same applies as in mm. 79 - 80: Rests touch the notes. in the left hand piano part.

Mm. 86 - 89: Knipsel.JPG

Strange rests and some touch the left hand quarter notes.

M. 90: Knipsel.JPG
The same issue: a rest touchs the left hand notes.

 

In conclusion, I think you have done well. Lay-out remains an issue and although laying out is considered less important than music by some souls, it is in fact very important. The clearer the score, the clearer it is for the performer(s) to analyse and understand your work, the better the music will sound and be played.

 

Maarten,

Thanks again for your review! Probably, I have to spread the distance between the staves to improve the layout. Thanks again!

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Tobias,

I think this is more what Maarten had in mind.  

PDF
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37 minutes ago, tmarko said:

Tobias,

I think this is more what Maarten had in mind.  

 

PDF

Precisely! Thank you tmarko for your clarification. @MusicianXX12

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