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viewfinder95

first bagatelle - any criticism appreciated

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ideally i'd want the piece played with a lot of rubato, a lot of sustain and very softly in the style of Ravel, but I'm using very limited software to score it 

 

 

 

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Well, the result is very different from you explain. It sounds very strong and percussive. I think it's interesting but, although the piece is no long, the repetition of the main motive over and over males it a bit heavy. Perhaps if you wanted to focus on the motive itself you could have made some variations on it.

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Your description of the piece confuses me. In fact, there are not many sustained notes and the mood is not 'soft' either. It rather sounds percussive like Luis' said.

You have good thematic material, but you barely develop it. Rather repeat the same motive over and over. Try to develop it and make variations. Maybe adding a second more melodic theme would work as well.

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