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Mondaufgang am Meer


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I have dropped out of the summer competition due to some serious writer's block. Even now, nothing I write seems to be up to par. It's really gotten me into a bit of a funk.

Anyway, here is the single, very short movement of my entry that I have actually completed. It's based on the 1822 Caspar David Friedrich painting 'Mondaufgang am Meer' (Moonrise over the Sea) -- one of my favorite works by my one of my favorite visual artists. He also painted a work of the same name in 1821, but I much prefer the 1822 version. Here it is if you'd like to take a peek: http://www.smb-digital.de/eMuseumPlus?service=ExternalInterface&module=collection&objectId=959550&viewType=detailView

The score may not be perfect; I haven't really given it a full dressing-down. Thoughts and comments would be very welcome. Thanks for listening!

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What's here is beautiful. Lovingly lush and serene. The rhythmic consistency is just the right length without feeling too sparse or overdone.
I guess what I mainly miss here is melodic motion, even though the harmonic motion is so great in this piece, just to match what's under. I do see what you were going for, I really do, what with the sweeping parallel chords, but it works as more of an opener or a bridge type situation, and doesn't give much for the audience to latch onto. 
The other thing is that I personally (take that with a grain of salt) the Lydian mode works best when it intertwines with the Ionian mode giving the piece a sense of push and pull throughout. I had a lot of push in this piece with the raised fourth but never felt like I was on a roller coaster, more like those stereotypical swan love rides, if you know what I'm talking about.
Your harp writing looks generally good, save for a few sharp 4's here and there requiring a chromatics pedal, and the rest of the orchestration was generally good too. Use of oboes for the ostinato is a great color. Modulations were good, but I'd throw in some courtesy naturals/accidentals at the beginnings of some of them, especially 7th of B to tonic of Ab.
I know the feeling of being proud of a first part and not really knowing where to go from there, fearing a stagnation. Sometimes it's better to just go with it sometimes and see what happens. Worst that can happen is that you have a separate piece you can edit later.

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Thanks, @Monarcheon. Really good analysis as usual. I was a little worried about the overuse of the raised fourth, but I figured it would be okay when it was balanced by other feelings in other movements (obviously that didn't happen). I wrote the little codetta in F last, and I was wondering if I shouldn't try to go back and use some of the stepwise lines in the bassoons there in the earlier passages as well to provide some more melodic material, but I thought it might interfere with the ostinato. 

I have a couple other little fragments and ideas that I thought were worth keeping, so I may revisit this piece someday. Friedrich really is one of my favorites. His works depict nature in this really mystical, spiritual way that I love. 

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18 minutes ago, Noah Brode said:

I have a couple other little fragments and ideas that I thought were worth keeping, so I may revisit this piece someday. Friedrich really is one of my favorites. His works depict nature in this really mystical, spiritual way that I love. 

On that note, I've been coming to terms with, probably due to the little amount of time I gave myself, I'm really struggling to get a piece started for the competition despite really wanting to do it. :ermm:

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Honestly, I am speechless.
In my opinion, the music is as good as the visual art.
Friedrich's Mondaufgang am Meer supports your work and vice versa.
The description of Friedrich's work completely fits the atmosphere of your composition:
Lightness; romance; restful.

The orchestration is simple, yet very powerful.
You show that you do not need to have a complex orchestration.
Simplicity can lead to the greatest beauty as well.

Furthermore, both melodies and harmonies are splendid and I really enjoyed the solo violin part; wonderful!

It is a pity that you have a writer's block, since this beginning is so impressive and promising. A writer's block is the most terrible nightmare, a composer can have...
Nevertheless, you have done a great job! I love it and you have a talent for composing.

Well done!

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@Monarcheon - True, your time constraints are pretty challenging. Judging by how quickly you produced that waltz, though, I bet you could pull it off.

@Maarten Bauer - Thank you, Maarten. I wish I could've kept writing. I realize it's kind of a 'First World problem' because composing is just a hobby for me, but it has been too emotionally draining to sit down and come up with nothing, night after night. On a lighter note, my house has been really clean lately. :blush:

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