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Here is a piece for orchestra that I have been writing lately.

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Hi, this is a rousing work with a  Beethoven sound. Bold statements and drama, etc.The theme is good but could be better. I did hear it throughout and it was very well placed. But I didn't hear the kind of development I would have liked. And I think the reason is the repeated notes in the theme. After a point they become sorted of wasted possibilities because they don't move the action forward. Had you ever considered giving the fourth beat of the theme more to do in terms of pitch, and then giving the repeated notes, if you still need them, to a subservient voice?  It would open up a lot more possibilities. Btw, have you played this for anyone else, like a teacher?

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@Ken320

I will make the theme more interesting and I have already spotted ways I could develop it. I haven't played it to anyone yet but I am going to take it to the Grampian Concert Orchestra when I feel that I have finished it.

@bkho

Thank you!

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Just some quick notes: The use of dynamics and instrumentation is very good.

Just for the horns: I know that they are often notated in concert pitch today, but still you find them often in scores as a transposing instrument, especially as the use of horns in other keys as F or Bb is on the rise again. Then, they are notated in C Major, F horns sounding a fifth lower than written down. Also, if you split the horns further so that everyone of the four hornists plays a different note, they can be drowned out by the rest of the orchestra. Just be aware of that. (Same goes for splitting oboe or flute, but I do not know how many players you are thinking of for each instrument.)

 

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Here's a new version:

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I don't hear any difference. But then I don't know what I should be listening for. Maybe you could point out some places where it's different?

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My suggestion is to:

A) Clarify your themes and melodies a little more broadly. I can see that sometimes the dynamic contrasts are overplayed and underplayed in the playback, and such is the problem with digital mock ups. But even so, I can find that there are spots that don't seem purposeful as far as where a melody should push for. It seems that some markings and even some  rhythms seem out of place with the aesthetic that this piece gives.

B) Think about the delivery of this piece. What message does this send? This may also help spots where you might want to consider different timbre's of the instruments. For example, in the beginning, the melody is held in soli by the basson and the 1st (possibly 2nd) Horns. A horn may be out of place if the delivery is to open more carefully like in the Nutcracker Suite, or open extremely more forcefully in which maybe just the basson and horn or even just the basson may be out of place here like maybe in the opening lines to Beethoven's 5th. Instrument choice and orchestration and ya-da-ya-da all play different roles in to how an audience will inevitably take something meaningful out of the performance this piece will have, and ultimately what they will feel from it. Because all-in-all, if they feel something then you've done your job as a composer.

I think this piece could be really something special, and I think you've got something wonderful in the making. You've just got to chip away at it a little bit more and find the grounds for a beautiful gem. Thank you for your submission, and thank you for your time.

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Sorry I haven't replied sooner - the website wouldn't load.

Thank you very much @Alamo!

I sill work on this piece more with a fresh eye concerning instrumentation. 

I'll have a look at the melodies and what I do with them.

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