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Life Changer


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This is the first time I've put up a composition for critique, so go easy on me. I'm also relatively new at composing (I started about two years ago). Anyways, I wrote this piece from late April to the middle of June. I was always thinking about one person the entire time I was writing it. That person was Dr. Jonathan Rodgers. I met him two years ago, which was the summer before my Sophomore year of high school. He was my choir director at the college music camp I was at. It was my first year, and I didn't know anyone. I was really nervous before the first rehearsal started. But then, Dr. Rodgers walked in, and he had my attention from minute one. I was so amazed by the way he always kept us on our toes but still managed to make it fun. All my nerves were gone in that moment. And after rehearsal, he came up to me, I formally introduced myself to him, and we just talked. I was even more amazed at how approachable he was. I got to be under his direction for two years of music camp as well as during the honor choir and a Christmas concert at the university. And I enjoyed every second of working with him. But in the middle of April, I found out that Dr. Rodgers would be leaving the university to go back into full time church work. When I went to music camp that year, it would be the last time I would get to work with him. I knew that I had to do something to thank him for how much he has changed my life. And then, this little melody popped into my head out of nowhere. I immediately got on my composing software and put it in. It just kept evolving as I went along, and I finally completed it in the middle of June. On the third to last day of music camp, I wrote a letter to go with my piece, and asked Dr. Rodgers' assistant director to give it to him (I would've done it myself, but I knew I wouldn't be able to do it without crying.). And after rehearsal the next day, Dr. Rodgers came up to me and asked if I wrote the piece, to which I said yes. He pulled me into a hug and told me that he nearly burst into tears when he saw it because no one had ever given him that kind of gift before. But that wasn't the best part. Both of us knew that the piece wasn't perfect, especially considering I barely have any piano experience. And since Dr. Rodgers was a very good pianist and composer, he offered to help me revise it. I accepted his offer, we exchanged our contact info, and we Skype about once every other week to revise it. But he also referred me to this forum for additional critique. I have attached the most recent version of the piece to this post. Hope you like it!

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Do you have an audio file to go along with the score?  It would help to provide some useful feedback, as least for someone like myself who can't simply hear the music in my head from looking at the score of a piece unfamiliar to me.

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1 hour ago, bkho said:

Do you have an audio file to go along with the score?  It would help to provide some useful feedback, as least for someone like myself who can't simply hear the music in my head from looking at the score of a piece unfamiliar to me.

 

I do not have one on hand, but I can easily go to my composing software and generate an mp3. Just give me a few hours and I will put that on here.

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The audio is attached.

 

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For an early work, there are nice elements.  The melody is very nice and the harmonies are clean.  However, as Luis pointed out, there are many areas which are likely unplayable for most pianists because of very large intervals as your middle voices are either too low for the right hand to play or too high for the left hand.  Unless you are writing for someone with a huge fingerspan, I'd avoid intervals in each hand larger than an octave.  For example, that F in measure 10 is unplayable, measures 13-20 would also be unplayable and there are a quite few other measures with similar problems. 

Also try to avoid parallel 5ths if possible, like at the end, which generally is avoided in tonal music and just has a blocky sound.

But as I said, there are many aspects I enjoyed in your work and I'm sure your professor is quite honored to have someone write such a piece for him.

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