Emanuel Posted August 31, 2018 Share Posted August 31, 2018 hello guys this is my new song i hope you like it! the critique is welcome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monarcheon Posted September 4, 2018 Share Posted September 4, 2018 You have both the suspended 4th in your F major chord, as well as the resolved major third which gives a bit of an awkward change of styles right at the end of a phrase. The exception is the first time. The solo piano ostinato you use at 1:52 doesn't feel the most warranted. These emotional moments, and you do do this, can be used as a point of remembrance from the previous material standing alone. It just didn't feel like there was a big enough buildup or previous material to have it be there, especially since you crash right into it again instead of a build. 2:24's polychord is a little bit strange. It's nice that they're off by a whole step but confusing that they're off by tonality (major/minor). Not wrong, just doesn't match the rest of the material. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sepharite Posted September 4, 2018 Share Posted September 4, 2018 Great piece. I wasn't fully captivated until towards the 2:30 mark when the choir came in for the climax. Then on, it was beautiful. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emanuel Posted September 4, 2018 Author Share Posted September 4, 2018 20 hours ago, Monarcheon said: You have both the suspended 4th in your F major chord, as well as the resolved major third which gives a bit of an awkward change of styles right at the end of a phrase. The exception is the first time. The solo piano ostinato you use at 1:52 doesn't feel the most warranted. These emotional moments, and you do do this, can be used as a point of remembrance from the previous material standing alone. It just didn't feel like there was a big enough buildup or previous material to have it be there, especially since you crash right into it again instead of a build. 2:24's polychord is a little bit strange. It's nice that they're off by a whole step but confusing that they're off by tonality (major/minor). Not wrong, just doesn't match the rest of the material. Thanks for you criticism!!! im going to improve! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emanuel Posted September 4, 2018 Author Share Posted September 4, 2018 4 hours ago, Sepharite said: Great piece. I wasn't fully captivated until towards the 2:30 mark when the choir came in for the climax. Then on, it was beautiful. thanks for listening!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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