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dronjom

Jilovelaa

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Hi everybody!

 I am happy that I finally got the inspiration and opportunity again to work with my tunes. I want to send a demo somewhere, thats why I want to upgrade some of my tunes. This pioano melody, called Jilovelaa, I made back in 18.May 2007, but I have never tried drums on it before, so I have now added some drums, and some other instruments, I wonder what you guys think about it. I think I have posted the same melody here 11 years ago. I think it should be nice to put some lyrics to the melody. 
 I miss hanging in this forum! 😄 God bless all, peace on Earth! 

Best regards,
Daniel.

[Edit] here is link to wav: www.dandron.com/jilovelaa2.wav

 

 

 

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Hi Dronjom;

 

My thoughts on it, may or may not be relevant to you, 

I like the music, especially at 1:25 the pause and the strings - wish that section was longer.  I like your changes, they feel natural and smooth. - good work there. 

There really is no melody, the piano arpeggio is interesting at first but gets too predictable.  If you want to keep it through the piece perhaps have it repeat with some minor variations, 1 - 3 notes different. , but I think I would make it serve as part of the background.  The arpeggio remains too insistent.  You might consider letting it drop out, and another instrument come in.  

LOVE the end.. humorous.  

You might consider having a bass play the piano  left hand.  The piano after a while, just feels ever present - almost 'too insistent'.  Yes if you put lyrics to it, (with a melody) that could totally bring this piece into the light.  This is a good foundation to build from. 

What I do when working on a piece, is get it to some semblance of order.  Then go listen to other peoples music (that I like or  fits the genre, I am working on).  Listen to the sounds they are using, are drums mellow, tuned up higher, have a unique sound.  I pay careful attention to how they construct a piece. arrangement of parts coming/going. Often notating it out on graph paper with different colored felt tip pens, not the notes per say, just were activity on each instrument comes in/out.  Do this to songs you like, or in the genre.  and you begin to get an 'oversight' on a good composition. 

 

 Just revoicing a piece, that is  use the same notes, but choose a different patch for the sound of various instruments, can totally make or break a piece. This is where a sizable instrument library comes in.. Don't know if you're using hardware or virtual instruments and Kontakt libraries etc.  If you replaced your synthesizer riff with a flute, this piece would change drastic (but that might not be what you are looking for.. don't know)

If using a DAW.. I assume.  This is all open to you, you can experiment, and always go back to what you started with. To me, the piano part is sort of stately.  The arpeggio, gives it a slight 'classical feel'.  I would consider more subdued drum sounds.  The drums especially the snare more or less say 'look at me'..  The snare is not the focus of this piece, the piano part is right now.  a tighter drier snare might shift the focus.

Actually the parts are well played, Keep up the good work. 

 

 

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