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I took into account all your feedback and created a new version of the song. I still have the squeaky tone sometimes, but will continue working on lifting my fingers more when playing. I think its complete now and a friend suggested to publish it as a demo. Thanks again for listening! 🙂

Edited by .Em.
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The harmonies work, but mostly because they're pretty standard. Not a bad thing, of course.
The finger-plucking section... the pattern you do it in is a tad too simple and repetitive. Disregarding chords, it feels sort of comical and a little bit more syncopation or displacement could give it some more character.

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Good work, .Em. I quite liked it. But it would be amazing to see it finished in a more ready stage, you know. I think you've got something in there. You just need to put it on track. Think the song in its completeness.

Thanks for sharing.

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Thank you all for reviewing my work! I agree that the simple pattern repeating is a bit comical, i will try to think of interesting ways to modify it. I also feel song is not complete. Id gotten frustrated with how long it was taking to get what I already figured out played smoothly so i posted something to be done with it. Making music takes patience though. The revised version will be up soon. Thank you all for listening. 🙂

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It's very nice.. Don't be worried about how long it takes to complete.  I've discovered many artists who spend a LOT OF TIME on a song.    The Beachboy's 'Good Vibrations' took something like 7 months, and $150,000 in studio time.  Unheard of in the 1960's.  The Beatles would often re-record a song many many times in different styles, keys, tempos to discover what was best.  One of their hits, they used the 100th take of the basic rhythm tracks.. 

Prince would often continually re-record the basic parts of his songs.  He'd get the rhythm tracks down, record a new bass part, which then needed a new piano part, then a new guitar. Often going several rounds till the ending piece, didn't sound much like the first version..   I spend a lot of time using the same technique.  As I redo the parts, I fill in the holes, or improve and refine the parts. And I realize I had to go thru that process to find the 'essence' of what I was trying to say the first time.  

It's wonderful when one can brag,  this was the first take.. and yes that happens some times.  The real magic is in the work itself.  Keep up the good work

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On listening again.  I would practice your guitar fingering, lift you fingers slightly so you don't get all those squeaking sounds.  Also you have a lovely voice, don't be afraid to sing out.  Other finger picking patterns would spice up song nicely..  Either write a vocal melody for the long instrumental, or shorten it, and come back to voice again..  This song is a good foundation to put some more work into.   Also you could consider saving it, write more, and come back to it, when you have more ideas to add to it.  A fair amount of people write things, keep a good reference audio of it, and some kind of notes so you can re-create it.  I sometimes get stuck on a song, and can't seem to compete it. I put it aside, and then one day, I find I have some new techniques to apply to it.

 

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It takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there with just guitar and voice, cuz there's no place to hide. But it's good. Just keep on going. 😊

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