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Works for pre-screening final products


LayneBruce

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Week before college pre-screening and this is what I have

Let me know what you think!

Cry Havoc!:

Cry Havoc!.pdfCry Havoc! audio.mp3

Cry Blue:

Cry Blue.pdfCry Blue.mp3

Short Stories:

Short Stories.pdfI. Missing Person - Very Slow.mp3II. Ward no. 6 - Fast.mp3III. The Happy Prince - Broadly.mp3IV. The Magic Shop - Moderately.mp3V. The Sound of Thunder - Fast.mp3

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@LayneBruce There's a lot here, so I'm going to comment as I listen. I hope that's okay (and I hope you can follow what I'm saying). Here goes...

  • Cry Havoc!—It's probably the computerized rendition but the percussion notes seem very repetitive and mechanical, almost like a CD skipping. I like the crescendo at around 1:30. Oh, the pianos are doing some nice riffs here! Yes, some good stuff at 2:00 minute mark. Again, the marimba's notes seem "stuck" at 2:45ish. Nice rhythm changes at 3:00 and on. The ending, while satisfying, didn't seem to go along with the score... were there changes made perhaps not reflected in the score (or vice versa)? Overall, this is an interesting work, but I felt that it lacks cohesiveness. I understand the need for chaos in a piece with "havoc" in the title. However, art should be about connectedness (IMO) and I didn't sense it in this piece. That's just my personal opinion; take it with a grain or two of salt.
  • Cry Blue—I like the opening rhythm and syncopation. Nice bluesy feel to it! At 0:30 it seems we've left the blues feel for something of a... nocturne, perhaps? Not sure how I feel about that. The wide waltz-like accompaniment at 1:50 is well-done, but I feel like it jars with the mood established with the previous themes. Ah, I like the return to the opening there at the end. My overall impression of this piece is that you're quite talented at coming up with themes and fleshing out cool harmonies. The thing to work on in future compositions is, again, cohesiveness. Change the moods all you want, but it feels less abrupt if you borrow something from a previous theme and "disguise" it rather than come up with brand new themes. The score looks great. Couple of suggestions: might change the time signature at M20 & 40 to 3/4 since that's effectively what you're doing; and I'd get rid of some of those rests that collide with written notes (M15, for instance).
  • Missing Person—Cool multiphonics to begin with! The choppy rhythms remind me a lot of Gershwin, especially the "metallic" dissonances in the piano.
  • Ward no. 6—Fascinating opening with interesting soundscape. The attacks from the piano here seemed too random to me, as if a cat were stalking a bird on the piano. That might be the mood you're going for, but I'm hesitant to call that art. Again, just a personal preference.
  • The Happy Prince—The clanging piano chords that open this piece sound something like melting icicles. The intrusion of the horn adds some cool texture. The overall dissonance, though, is too much. Maybe I was expecting a musical rendition of Wilde's "The Happy Prince." This seems unnecessarily random and chaotic.
  • The Magic Shop—The score is confusing... what's making those high-pitched noises at the beginning? The sound textures here are pretty cool. I like the piano part, and this one doesn't seem quite as chaotic as the others.
  • The Sound of Thunder—The opening is quite proclamatory, but the next few passages move too quickly and seem unrelated to the rest of the piece. The crescendo at the end was a little much: unnecessarily loud and dissonant. 
  • Short Stories, overall—I like your writing for the horn. These would be great for a senior recital! The piano part, however, only seems to fight with the horn and not support it. The soundscapes you create are unique, so I applaud you for your inventiveness. To this composer, though, it didn't sound like these were sculpted by thought, but rather by impulse. Please don't let me crimp your style. These are merely my impressions—you compose how you want!

You have a lot of good ideas and a good working grasp on harmonies. I'd like to see more of that in future works (personal preference). Wishing you the best of luck with the pre-screenings!

Jörfi

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11 minutes ago, Tónskáld said:

It's probably the computerized rendition but the percussion notes seem very repetitive and mechanical, almost like a CD skipping

Ahahah yeah that was not intended, unfortunately none of the pieces (except for cry blue) sound like they should in the midi. The staccato marimba eighth notes is supposed to be a soft sustained roll and some (most really) of the percussion sounds aren't even close to the instrument that I stated in the music. Im trying to get a recording in a few days but it's very difficult to find performers while on a budget.

 

15 minutes ago, Tónskáld said:

were there changes made perhaps not reflected in the score (or vice versa)?

Oops, thanks for pointing this out to me. The midi version is the correct version (somewhat) somehow the score didn't save properly. 

 

16 minutes ago, Tónskáld said:

but I felt that it lacks cohesiveness. I understand the need for chaos in a piece with "havoc" in the title. However, art should be about connectedness (IMO) and I didn't sense it in this piece. That's just my personal opinion; take it with a grain or two of salt.

Transitioning and order of ideas is definitely something I struggle with I will keep this in mind!

18 minutes ago, Tónskáld said:

the time signature at M20 & 40 to 3/4 s

Yeah this is definitely something that I looked over entirely. Thanks for pointing it out!

18 minutes ago, Tónskáld said:

choppy rhythms remind me a lot of Gershwin

YES! exactly what I was going for, thanks for that.

19 minutes ago, Tónskáld said:

The attacks from the piano here seemed too random to me, as if a cat were stalking a bird on the piano. That might be the mood you're going for, but I'm hesitant to call that art. Again, just a personal preference.

I haven't written the program note but without any context I see where your coming from. The horn + piano pieces are based off short stories - this one being about an unstable mental asylum - hence the chaotic randomness/dissonance. ESPECIALLY - where the piano is doing forearm chords as harmony in the left hand!

24 minutes ago, Tónskáld said:

The overall dissonance, though, is too much

This is a problem that I feared, this part is supposed to be melancholic so I might have to do some last minute interval adjusting lol.

25 minutes ago, Tónskáld said:

he score is confusing... what's making those high-pitched noises at the beginning?

Haha once again midi getting in the way. Those are "supposed" to be the french horn player plucking the piano strings in the upper registers at random intervals to make a kind of "magical" sound with the piano contrasting against it. unfortunately the midi cannot due this so it makes french horn noises that are unrecognizably high pitched.

27 minutes ago, Tónskáld said:

but the next few passages move too quickly and seem unrelated to the rest of the piece. The crescendo at the end was a little much: unnecessarily loud and dissonant. 

will keep this is mind.

Thanks so much for such a detailed response!

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