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DELETED #10


J.Santos

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I think you've obviously got some varied material here with lots of useable ideas, however you mentioned you didn't want to hear much criticism towards some of the understandably clumsy playing. If you're really concerned about that, then why not use this recording as a reference so you can write it all down and push out a refined version of it for others to listen to? After all, you can't ask people to overlook the flaws in your playing and then also throw words like 'ingenious' into your description! 😛 You should try to properly finish these variations. I think you'd have great results from doing so and I'd be delighted to hear them. Having a better recording and a finished score will also make it easier for other users to take the time to review your music! I'm sure some of them clicked on this post, listened a bit, and then clicked the back button because the thought of trying to sift through your raw ideas captured in the moment was too stressful especially without notation as a reference!

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The playing only gets in the way when trying to discern the effect you're going for. The D major variation, for example, has a lot of rhythmic dissonance but it takes me time to understand where it's used intentionally.
Now, "ingenious", huh? I wouldn't even call Schubert's original theme ingenious, haha. I think the minimal voice leading in harmonic changes is nice, but closer voice leading could be done to extend the modulatory passages, and not focus so much on the functional aspect of it, which I begin to hear in your use of X7(#5) chords, but could also hear be taken far further to truly put your own spin on it.

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