Left Unexplained Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 (edited) I worked on this last night and I'm happy with how it turned out. Edited February 23, 2020 by Left Unexplained MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu Too much too soon 3 > next Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maestrowick Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 so I usually dont critique without scores, however the orchestration at the beginning is so darn gorgeous, I couldnt resist . 1) Your opening Bb9sus chords. Develop that longer. That modulation to B seems abrupt. TOO abrupt. 2) The Ab triplets are a nice touch around 1:12. Develop the fifteen seconds BEFOREHAND even longer. Then add that. Next, those triplets are dying for a counterpoint line Now give me a score 😄 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Left Unexplained Posted February 24, 2020 Author Share Posted February 24, 2020 19 hours ago, maestrowick said: so I usually dont critique without scores, however the orchestration at the beginning is so darn gorgeous, I couldnt resist . 1) Your opening Bb9sus chords. Develop that longer. That modulation to B seems abrupt. TOO abrupt. 2) The Ab triplets are a nice touch around 1:12. Develop the fifteen seconds BEFOREHAND even longer. Then add that. Next, those triplets are dying for a counterpoint line Now give me a score 😄 1. I hear what you're saying 2. by a counterpoint line, what do you mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maestrowick Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 On 2/24/2020 at 8:36 AM, Left Unexplained said: 1. I hear what you're saying 2. by a counterpoint line, what do you mean? write a secondary melodic line underneath your melody 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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