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Star Encyclical


pateceramics

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Thanks for your thoughts!

 

On a night of roses, stars bloom overhead.

Miles ago and years away,

a furnace burst into flame.

The fox-bright black births a new point,

smaller than a thought,

a whisper of light.

The universe is breathing,

and we, heady moths, drunk on the scent, 

In and out, in and out.

Edited by pateceramics
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  • 2 weeks later...

It's nice overall. There are some lone perfect fourths and doubled thirds that sound a little bit off in relation to what surrounds it. This also applies to some broken unisons, like S+T in the beginning of the imitation after the first chorale.
Speaking of which, I would also maybe say the intro and ending chorales are too stagnant for me rhythmically; I can understand it the first time, but it feels like it needs an extra push the second time around.
Other than that there are some interesting dissonances and resolutions and it's always nice to see some choral stuff every so often.

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