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Romance-Elegy for Violin and Viola


Albayrak

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duet for violin and viola . I'm waiting for your thoughts, thanks 

 

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  • 1 month later...

Alright then here we go:

image.png.9192c51c956378552a3d045b14d8bee1.png this is... pretty much impossible. You can't expect them to hold three notes at once, especially not these three. Playing a fifth in a bow instrument is definitely a possibility, but those should be open ones. Think about the player who must have both of his fingers at the exact same place. That's so very extremly difficult to do. More than that- you put a fermata in there which means... that you expect them to be able to use all three at once? Which is two hands and pretty much destroying both the bow, the bridge and some parts of the strings?

image.png.237a90529ac57afacc0e12cfca120dec.pngThis should be notated that way for you're breaking the beat.

Nice use of... I think it's Phrygian there?

Wait. You've written 6 bars and are introducing a new theme already? Please, give me some time to get attached to the first one. I don't have anything to grip onto.

You should really pay more attention to your doubles and triples. Not everything is playable, you should have an actual player to advise you, at least at the beginning.

Structure-wise... at seems as if your piece is built of a few separate tiny blocks mashed together. First of all- try to have fewer themes. I don't get out of this piece being able to hum anything, I don't really remember what I've just listened to. Try to mix theme with one another, allow them to develop and bloom. Give them some place to breathe, some food and water, let them play with each other, grow through life, become swifter and slower, duller and brighter, allow them to tell a story...

 

 

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@Rabbival507 Hi, first of all thank you for listening and reviewing.

6 hours ago, Rabbival507 said:

image.png.9192c51c956378552a3d045b14d8bee1.png this is... pretty much impossible.

If there is a fermata in a chord, this is for the down double stop,(downbow) I had already created a separate audio file (different score) to make the chords look realistic.Listen carefully and you'll notice. 

daf.thumb.png.cf760f57221df651803acc20b38f16b0.png

6 hours ago, Rabbival507 said:

image.png.237a90529ac57afacc0e12cfca120dec.pngThis should be notated that way for you're breaking the beat.

Two days after installing this I uploaded an edit score and did some beaming. you can see it in the first post. Thanks for mentioning

 

6 hours ago, Rabbival507 said:

Wait. You've written 6 bars and are introducing a new theme already? Please, give me some time to get attached to the first one. I don't have anything to grip onto.

 I agree. I changed the theme and wrote a different middle section. the middle section is longer and the main motif is there. 

 

6 hours ago, Rabbival507 said:

You should really pay more attention to your doubles and triples. Not everything is playable, you should have an actual player to advise you, at least at the beginning.

I played the violin myself for a while. and I thought about the whole score in detail (in terms of playability) I also came across someone who said that he wanted to play this with his friend, but he did not have any complaints. but of course there might be some parts I missed, can you tell if there is a part you notice?

6 hours ago, Rabbival507 said:

Structure-wise... at seems as if your piece is built of a few separate tiny blocks mashed together. First of all- try to have fewer themes. I don't get out of this piece being able to hum anything, I don't really remember what I've just listened to. Try to mix theme with one another, allow them to develop and bloom. Give them some place to breathe, some food and water, let them play with each other, grow through life, become swifter and slower, duller and brighter, allow them to tell a story...

I admit that the themes and tempo are constantly changing, creating a mess, hence the name elegy-romance. however, the main motif and theme in the middle section is more prominent and has many variations. but still I can let them thrive like you said. My intention here was to keep the audience and make it attractive to those who want to play at the same time. As a self taught, it is important to me to hear a live recording. and if there is no person around to do it, it is not possible to have someone you do not know, but if the piece is attractive and short, it may be the proposer. apart from that, I personally do not often change the theme and tempo in my pieces. but, I usually prefer to keep it short, because people outside here are not kind and interested enough to listen to long piece. I totally agree with what you say here, but I think it will vary depending on the purpose of writing. then I can try to write different pieces by separating and thriving the themes here.Thanks again for taking the time to do this. 
(sorry for my bad english)

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Your English is fine, really. I'm not a natural speaker either.

I've just been shouted at by my violist friend who said I took his advice too seriously, that fifths can be played...

they just might not come as easily and as clear as desired, which is an aspect you should consider if you care about the players.

I care about the players too, some say I do too much.

And yet, I think that you should rethink your themes and structures.

Look at other people's works on this site, there are some great talented people all around the forum, you might have some realizations doing so.

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thank you

3 hours ago, Rabbival507 said:

they just might not come as easily and as clear as desired, which is an aspect you should consider if you care about the players.

exactly. but most of the time, it is not possible for me to reach performers.

3 hours ago, Rabbival507 said:

Look at other people's works on this site, there are some great talented people all around the forum, you might have some realizations doing so.

I try to listen to the every music here when I find time. I have also listened to the retrospective compositions of many member, including you. but i usually get silent when I have nothing to add.  thanks again

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I feel like this piece has a lot of potential. With some reworking, I think you could create something really good.

I enjoyed the long sweeping melodies over 16th-note accompaniments. I also like how you mix these up with slower contrasting sections. It's good to give the ear some variety.

I absolutely agree with Rabbival507's comments regarding thematic material – while the ear needs variety, it's also best not to introduce too much different, unrepeated material as this causes the piece to lose its cohesiveness. Perhaps you could try thinking in terms of sections (A, B, C etc., like in a rondo) – that's an approach that I've found works for me. Maybe you can try to work out a simple structure for a piece (eg. A-B-C-A-B) and vary each section to a greater or lesser degree when you repeat it.

Now, in terms of playability, I'm not a violinist/violist so I'm no expert, but I'll repeat some general advice my composition tutor gave me: when in doubt, it's good to make it as easy as possible. Your piece seems to have a lot of double stops – I'm not sure how easy those are to play. That's just my instinctive reaction, though – you mentioned you're a violinist so I'm sure you have more insight than me.

Hope this helps! I did enjoy listening to this piece and I hope you continue to develop it.

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@Alexander Reiger

Thank you for listening, I'm glad you liked it.
I wrote this about two months ago. and I don't quite remember what I intended to write in my mood back then, but looking back now I see what you mean. there are constant tempo changes and variations such as passacaglia imitation to make it attractive to play. but after a while I realize that this is tiring to listen to and I am unfair to some themes. I'll work on it again later. thanks again

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