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Piano miniature: A Bedtime Story


dyross

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Hello,

This is the first of a set of short piano pieces I am writing inspired by learning how to be a parent (specifically, how my infant daughter sleeps).

As this is my first post to this forum, really looking forward to hearing feedback.

Thanks,

David

 

 

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1 hour ago, Luis Hernández said:

Thanks for those original harmonic changes!

 

Tried my best!

56 minutes ago, PaperComposer said:

This is quite a troubling bedtime story!  I hope your daughter can sleep easy after something like this!

I really enjoyed the dissonances you emphasized and the rich harmonic language that you used although you still stayed centered in E minor.  Nice job!

 

Thanks for the feedback! It's a bit more "inspired by" than "for literal use" 🙃

 

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15 minutes ago, PaperComposer said:

The ending brings back the original motif to end in a somewhat more consonant and congenial way.  I could see this developing further and going to a contrasting theme where you insert the ending coda - is that what you meant to ask about?

 

Yes, thanks. Some folks found the ending abrupt / jarring and was wondering if that opinion was shared. I rather like the unexpected ending as it kind of keeps in the theme of bedtime story with a cliffhanger “until tomorrow night” so to speak. 

But that’s most likely composer’s bias.

If it doesn’t seem egregious, perhaps I’ll keep it.

 

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After getting some feedback about the somewhat abrupt ending, I had some time to tinker this weekend and added an additional bar to the ending:
 
 
I think it takes away a tiny bit of the "ending on with a cliffhanger" that I like, but at the same time, I don't think it sounds as abrupt. But perhaps it's a bit obvious?
 
Thanks!
David
 
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