Jump to content

Piano miniature: A Bedtime Story


Recommended Posts

Hello,

This is the first of a set of short piano pieces I am writing inspired by learning how to be a parent (specifically, how my infant daughter sleeps).

As this is my first post to this forum, really looking forward to hearing feedback.

Thanks,

David

 

 

MP3
0:00
0:00
PDF
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Luis Hernández said:

Thanks for those original harmonic changes!

 

Tried my best!

56 minutes ago, PaperComposer said:

This is quite a troubling bedtime story!  I hope your daughter can sleep easy after something like this!

I really enjoyed the dissonances you emphasized and the rich harmonic language that you used although you still stayed centered in E minor.  Nice job!

 

Thanks for the feedback! It's a bit more "inspired by" than "for literal use" 🙃

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
15 minutes ago, PaperComposer said:

The ending brings back the original motif to end in a somewhat more consonant and congenial way.  I could see this developing further and going to a contrasting theme where you insert the ending coda - is that what you meant to ask about?

 

Yes, thanks. Some folks found the ending abrupt / jarring and was wondering if that opinion was shared. I rather like the unexpected ending as it kind of keeps in the theme of bedtime story with a cliffhanger “until tomorrow night” so to speak. 

But that’s most likely composer’s bias.

If it doesn’t seem egregious, perhaps I’ll keep it.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, dyross said:

 question for you (and anyone else) - I've got some feedback from others on the ending. So, without asking a leading question, I'm curious for your specific feedback on the ending.

Nothing happens to the ending, except that it is "weak" and open, no perfect cadence at all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, Luis Hernández said:

Nothing happens to the ending, except that it is "weak" and open, no perfect cadence at all.

 

Does it “work” in your opinion? Agreed it is weak / open from a theory / cadence perspective. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
After getting some feedback about the somewhat abrupt ending, I had some time to tinker this weekend and added an additional bar to the ending:
 
 
I think it takes away a tiny bit of the "ending on with a cliffhanger" that I like, but at the same time, I don't think it sounds as abrupt. But perhaps it's a bit obvious?
 
Thanks!
David
 
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...