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Jackdaw String Quartet


Seni-G

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This music is about Franz Kafka.

(If you want to read more about the meaning behind the music, you can do so here)

All feedback is welcome!

Edited by Seni-G
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I think you might get more of a response to your music if you posted each movement separately.  With upwards of 50 minutes of listening it might be a little much for people to review all at once.  Also your copious amount of reverb really muddies up the quick figurations you have especially if they contain repeated notes.  The re-articulation doesn't speak with this much reverb.  Also it seems to me (although I could be wrong) like there is a lack of thematic unity within these, but you do have themes that appear and re-appear here and there they just aren't integrated into the structure (and your ideas often sound kinda random) and there are few cadential points and logical ends to phrases that make your thoughts sounds like run-on sentences.

The 2nd movement seems to be riddled with some wild illogical gestures.  They're sort of indistinct too because of the reverb so the details are lost.

In the 3rd movement the droning should really be played by one instrument - in this case cello - the way you have it written right now the tendency with real players would be for this to drag and to sound disjointed as the cello would probably play their notes either too short or too long to make the figuration seem connected but not overlapping with the viola.  The viola on the other hand would tire quickly of playing nothing but off-beats.

 

Overall your musical ideas seem really unrefined.  Sometimes it sounds like you don't really have a filter to your ideas.  There is some logic to your harmonic flow and rhythm however - the themes just seem to lack logic and coherence.  Often it seems like your pieces could very easily be shortened without hurting the overall structure/conception of the music.  While on the other hand the music of the masters is very often just as long as it should be and would be difficult to cut (and sometimes even such a thing as not repeating the exposition can have a noticeable impact on the music).  Also I scarcely get the impression that your music is moving towards some culmination or is starting or ending a formal unit such as an exposition or development section or coda.  Music should really be more goal oriented than this.

I hope I am not being too harsh here but that's my opinion.  Thanks for sharing!

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I really like this work. In fact, the laxity or loose is a strong point for me. Although it seems it doesn't follow a typical or classic form, it has coherence. And, why not to say it..., I'm tired of classic forms and I appreciate the exploration of new formats.

In the second part Metamorphosis, the andalusian (or something like that) cadence seems a bit of cliche, but it doesn't happen very often. Perhaps I feel it this way because I hear it many times here.  On he other hand, I like the idea of connecting scales along the Mediterranean area.

I don't have a favorite part, but Milena is very beautiful.

The work has a sad mood but the last part which sounds more optimistic.

Very nice harmonies and impressionistic ideas. Huge work.

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Thank you both for your feedback! 

Paper Composer you're so right about the run-on sentence quality of some of this music. That is something I've always wrestled with. I write a lot of different ideas, then fall in love with all of them and I can't let them go.... I need to work on installing a filter. And yes, "wildly illogical" is an excellent way to describe parts of that second movement. I appreciate you taking the time to listen to this beast of a piece.

Luis, thank you for listening! Milena is one of my favorite things I've ever written, so it makes me very happy to hear that you enjoyed it. I also get tired of purely classical forms and harmonies, though I never fully unhinge myself from those classical styles. I've really enjoyed everything I've heard of your music as well. I like writing harmonies that bend the ear a bit, and I've detected that quality in you as well. Cheers mate!

Jonathan

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I echo PaperComposer's point about 50 minutes + time to make comment is quite an ask. So I listened to the first movement.

Some very nice harmony, streets away from the classical era. The rendering let it down for me as Violin 1 was obscured in the imbalance. Whatever notation software you use didn't take much notice of your dynamics. I have no equaliser to rebalance it in the computer. I'd need to hook up an outboard one with separate amplification to get it more like what your dynamics ask for.

It isn't quite through-composed but I'm in the same situation as Luis, a little weary of classical forms so your use of the thematic material came over interesting and varied. The ending was exceptionally well done.

An enjoyable movement to listen to and if I get a chance I'll come back to the rest.

Well done.

Quinn

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  • 2 months later...
On 11/25/2020 at 5:16 PM, PaperComposer said:

In the 3rd movement the droning should really be played by one instrument - in this case cello - the way you have it written right now the tendency with real players would be for this to drag and to sound disjointed as the cello would probably play their notes either too short or too long to make the figuration seem connected but not overlapping with the viola.  The viola on the other hand would tire quickly of playing nothing but off-beats.

 

@PaperComposer I made some changes to this movement based on your feedback. Thanks again for sharing your ideas.

I added in some more material for the violist to sink their teeth into, as a way to break up the drone. I decided not to give the droning part entirely to the cello because "disjointed" would actually be an apt vibe for this particular movement. If having two players play that drone means they periodically blur over each other, or their tempos aren't perfectly aligned, that all fits well with the metaphor that this movement is reaching for.

Hopefully the new material for the viola adds a bit more spice to the piece, without changing the original character. 

Cheers!

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