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This is the result of an art trade (or collab) I did with Michellle Walker (an artist who draws). The point of the piece is to describe some kind of mysterious and nostalgic atmosphere.

(I have spent more time in this piece than what I'm willing to admit.)

This piece is a bit experimental from a formal point of view. The idea was to set all the main motifs of the whole piece in very few measures (basically the introduction) and then develope them in some kind of improvisational style. So basically the consistency of the work comes from the constant use of these little elements and the aesthetic of the whole piece.
I also make use of recurrent motifs you can find in other works by me, like the one/s you can see between measure 2 and 3. (I hope I'm not repeating myself too much haha.) The first motif can be seen in my Memories piece and the other one is based in the same intervals as the main theme in "Gwyn, Lord of Cinder." And interestingly combining both creates some kind of mutated version of the first theme in the 3rd movement of Brahms' 3rd symphony.

I got a lot of inspiration from Scriabin and you can see his mystic chord in some occasions. (At least the main harmony of the chord.) The idea was to create some kind of impressionistic piece with Chopinesque and jazz hues. And I also used a progression in measure 15 that pretty much comes from a madrigal by Gesualdo ("Moro lasso").

The best part of the piece is probably around measures 21-24. (In my opinion.) That climax and the sweet chords that descend are inspired in Debussy.

Other inspirations are Ravel, Brahms and jazz in general.

By the way, this is probably my best looking piano score I have ever done, and I'm quite proud about that.

Anyways, I hope you will enjoy it and I'm open to criticism and feedback. 

Edited by Ivan1791
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1 hour ago, Papageno said:

Its beautiful, i really enjoyed this piece, the harmony is new to me, my main interest is in the classical style but I'm exploring other styles and id love to compose as you do. 

 

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.  I hope you will be able to learn something from what I did.

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@Ivan1791

Nice, I'm impressed. The rhythm, the harmony, the use of reoccurring motives, etc etc. 

One thing you might want to have in mind is image.png.8be3638be4ad3c8051350dc3127fd275.png

You might want to reconsider some of your voicing, maybe try to play it yourself and see how comfortable it is really.

I wouldn't write something such as what I mentioned above because I find that the effect achieved doesn't worth the effort, that you could do it otherwise.

The other voice leading note is about these fourths: image.png.db11dff069d576ce31dc4af700e96d66.png

I think that you try to capture this sort of Debussy parallels effect and yet... just pointing out, you could have spread those different from one another.

image.png.f72d09e7a4ca004a292688690068f72c.png Why double each one if the pedal is on? Again, unnecessary uncomfortable...-ness? Also the trill in such a low register when the pedal is on... you'll get a muddy sound.

Again, these are not things you must change but might want to reconsider. Not to say that your work is not beautiful- it is! 9/10!

 

 

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Well, this is certainly a very refreshing work! I must say, your understanding of the textures on the piano is very commendable; only an accomplished pianist or a very good composer would have this level of understanding. The musescore soundfont does not do these textures justice! Also, I will commend your use of harmony; it also emphasizes the 'freshness' of the work.

Now, I am a little confused at times in regards to the subtle changes in writing style that occurs throughout; obviously, if this was your intention then my previous comment will be negated. This confuses the musical direction at times (not always). 

Another small problem is that the music feels slightly 'imbalanced'. It needs to explore more within its own constraints. 

An example that might hopefully illustrate my above point will be the climax at m. 21. You voiced your affection for this portion of the music (a sentiment that I share); however, I think that it might need to go on for slightly longer to help 'balance' the music a little more.

On a side (non-musical) note, I must comment on how good your engraving is! Your command over musescore is certainly great; and I should take lessons from you one day!

I think that will be all for now. Feel free to neglect these comments; music is certainly very subjective. Congratulations on this work and thanks for sharing!

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2 hours ago, Rabbival507 said:

@Ivan1791

Nice, I'm impressed. The rhythm, the harmony, the use of reoccurring motives, etc etc. 

One thing you might want to have in mind is image.png.8be3638be4ad3c8051350dc3127fd275.png

You might want to reconsider some of your voicing, maybe try to play it yourself and see how comfortable it is really.

I wouldn't write something such as what I mentioned above because I find that the effect achieved doesn't worth the effort, that you could do it otherwise.

The other voice leading note is about these fourths: image.png.db11dff069d576ce31dc4af700e96d66.png

I think that you try to capture this sort of Debussy parallels effect and yet... just pointing out, you could have spread those different from one another.

image.png.f72d09e7a4ca004a292688690068f72c.png Why double each one if the pedal is on? Again, unnecessary uncomfortable...-ness? Also the trill in such a low register when the pedal is on... you'll get a muddy sound.

Again, these are not things you must change but might want to reconsider. Not to say that your work is not beautiful- it is! 9/10!

 

 

 

I don't think the first measures you mention are uncomfortable to play honestly, the left hand is making a tremolo too. 

 

What do you mean exactly about "you could have spread those different from one another"?

 

And I don't worry about the last example sounding muddy because the next measure is the same harmony but clearer. So it is a bit like you are arriving to that dominant. 

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1 hour ago, Sahil Sidhu said:

Well, this is certainly a very refreshing work! I must say, your understanding of the textures on the piano is very commendable; only an accomplished pianist or a very good composer would have this level of understanding. The musescore soundfont does not do these textures justice! Also, I will commend your use of harmony; it also emphasizes the 'freshness' of the work.

Now, I am a little confused at times in regards to the subtle changes in writing style that occurs throughout; obviously, if this was your intention then my previous comment will be negated. This confuses the musical direction at times (not always). 

Another small problem is that the music feels slightly 'imbalanced'. It needs to explore more within its own constraints. 

An example that might hopefully illustrate my above point will be the climax at m. 21. You voiced your affection for this portion of the music (a sentiment that I share); however, I think that it might need to go on for slightly longer to help 'balance' the music a little more.

On a side (non-musical) note, I must comment on how good your engraving is! Your command over musescore is certainly great; and I should take lessons from you one day!

I think that will be all for now. Feel free to neglect these comments; music is certainly very subjective. Congratulations on this work and thanks for sharing!

 

Thank you, I'm a pianist so that's why I have it easier to compose for piano.

 

And what score changes are you referring to? The score is quite complicated so it's very likely I wasn't optimal with the consistency of the writing.

 

And I agree with the music needing to stay more with the developments I make. That's why I say I struggle with form. And also the piece had to be below 4 minutes and I wanted to finish it soon because I'm quite busy lately.

 

Anyways, thanks for your comment. 🙂 And I learnt to use Musescore like that simply using it a lot haha.

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1 hour ago, Ivan1791 said:

And what score changes are you referring to? The score is quite complicated so it's very likely I wasn't optimal with the consistency of the writing.

Well, I had m. 6 in mind. For me, I tend to think of the simplicity of textures in the same way as I think of build ups to climaxes. I think (this is very personal), that this bar had a sudden complexity to the texture which left the soundscape almost as abruptly as it came. If it was either explored for a little longer or simplified, it would (in my honest opinion) come across as a more effective change in mood. That being said, I think you could model this upon the excellent build up to m. 21, which I thought was extremely effective.

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16 minutes ago, Sahil Sidhu said:

Well, I had m. 6 in mind. For me, I tend to think of the simplicity of textures in the same way as I think of build ups to climaxes. I think (this is very personal), that this bar had a sudden complexity to the texture which left the soundscape almost as abruptly as it came. If it was either explored for a little longer or simplified, it would (in my honest opinion) come across as a more effective change in mood. That being said, I think you could model this upon the excellent build up to m. 21, which I thought was extremely effective.

 

Oh, I see what you mean. Yes, I should have developed that more later in the piece.

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17 hours ago, Ivan1791 said:

What do you mean exactly about "you could have spread those different from one another"?

I mean that you don't have to make those parallel. 

You could achieve more interesting and surprising harmony by reconsidering the way you spread those chords over the keyboard plus additional notes to the chords.

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9 hours ago, Rabbival507 said:

I mean that you don't have to make those parallel. 

You could achieve more interesting and surprising harmony by reconsidering the way you spread those chords over the keyboard plus additional notes to the chords.

 

Idk, but I don't feel like there is a need for that. I wanted to stay relatively honest.

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This is mesmerizing. The harmonies are very beautiful and mysterious, and the pianistic writing is very competent. The impressionistic harmonies and chord progressions give a piece a wonderful mood. It's lovely!

The only thing I would do differently, though, is I would make the buildup to the central climax a bit longer, because in my mind, it would better justify having such a passionate moment, and I think it might balance the overall form a bit better. I might also have extended the climax by a few bars as well, but that would depend on how long the buildup lasts.

Also, just on a more personal note, I might have made the piece more thematically unified, but this may be deliberate on your part, so I won't get into that.

Once again, excellent work. The quality of your music is improving greatly!

Edited by Theodore Servin
grammar
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6 hours ago, Theodore Servin said:

This is mesmerizing. The harmonies are very beautiful and mysterious, and the pianistic writing is very competent. The impressionistic harmonies and chord progressions give a piece a wonderful mood. It's lovely!

The only thing I would do differently, though, is I would make the buildup to the central climax a bit longer, because in my mind, it would better justify having such a passionate moment, and I think it might balance the overall form a bit better. I might also have extended the climax by a few bars as well, but that would depend on how long the buildup lasts.

Also, just on a more personal note, I might have made the piece more thematically unified, but this is may deliberate on your part, so I won't get into that.

Once again, excellent work. The quality of your music improving greatly!

 

Glad you liked it. I agree with everything you said, that's why I want to improve the formal writing of my music. 

 

I get some good ideas but I struggle developing them in a way that I offer a good general structure while keeping it interesting. I also have trouble making clear how the piece is distributed. Like, I have doubts about where to put the cadences and all that and I don't really know when to consider I am starting a transition or the exposition of a new theme. So at the end it sounds a bit like on the air and it causes some sections to feel rushed, uncompleted, etc. 

 

Anyways, thank you for your comment. 🙂

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