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What do you think about my composition? - Canon in D minor


DoYourDailyDuo

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  • 2 months later...

I think you need to put in tempo and dynamics and a sound file would help. From the score it looks unvarying but without any idea of pace I can't say much.

A problem you may hit (depending on the effect you want) is the double bass being too close to the cello too often. (And it doesn't run through the canon.  It's going to sound muddy and may not work well in the last bar of the first page. The spacing of the notes in the last bar can be improved. At the mo you have a double third. If you insist on the doubled third, set the viola an octave above.

I'm not sure the subject works well as a canon. It leaves room for improvement in harmony and wouldn't earn you many marks if intended to be counterpoint. 

Edited by Quinn
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I think you have to go over this piece. A canon is not simply repeating the notes at the same or other interval. You have to check that the  relation beteween the pitches is OK in terms of the style of counterpoint you are pursuing. In some parts you have herar parallel fifths, which I can understand whenever there are interceded with consonant intervals like 3ª or 6ª. But for example a 7ª followed by a 5ª ... will not sound very good. 

Another issue is that there is mor parallel motion than contrary or oblique.

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You should upload a sound file. It's hard to judge music without listening to it.

You also didn't mention which style you are trying to write in, so that makes any technical feedback very hypothetical too.

But in general, canonic imitation normally involves counterpoint. From a distant look at the score, we can see several hints that your piece goes against the most general principles of good counterpoint: not much rythmic contrast, a lot of parallel motion; not much voices independance. Visually, it doesn't look like counterpoint which is puzzling for a canon. When the violoncello enters, it plays the same melody as the violin, on the same beats; this is not canonic imitation (you need to shift it by a time interval). Here you are simply doubling the voice, which is quite redundant, especially in a small ensemble. 

For the rest, I didn't go into details, because it also depends on the style you want to emulate, but there appears to be some errors. Melodically, you have some problems (A2nds, the line doesn't imply clear harmonic motions, repeated notes, and I'm not sure about your use of leaps but I would need to hear how it sounds). As the other commentors have mentionned, your intervals are not properly treated as well (as said previously, parallel 5ths and 8ves, dissonances not resolved in the "right" way).

 

I think you need to study counterpoint before trying to write canons. Or start with 2 voices rather than 4. It seems you could benefit from a more gradual approach

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