Jump to content

And Sara Said


Recommended Posts

Hi! I think the vocal writing is pretty good--all the lines are nicely singable and fit well together. I think the B-flat chords in the first section create a nice, sort of unconventional tension that keeps the energy going through the cadences, and I kind of missed these flat-VII chords in the 2nd half, after the key change.

Speaking of cadences, the only one that didn't sit right with me is the one in mm. 45-46. To me, it kind of prematurely stops the song's momentum when you emphasize the tonic chord so strongly in the middle of a section. It also breaks the 1-chord-per-measure harmonic flow you had going on. So I'd personally change one or both of those chords to something less resolved in order to keep the momentum going.

The other little thing that bothered me was m. 17, where the piano kind of haphazardly slips into and out of unison with the sopranos. In general, it works well to have the piano in unison with voices (especially on a melody) or it could work to have it harmonizing with them (keep in mind they're very different sounds that won't necessarily blend, though)--but switching so quickly between these two probably isn't advisable. I think it creates an unwanted emphasis whenever you switch to/from unison (the tritone at the end of the measure especially sticks out, which you probably don't want in a weak rhythmic position) and maybe interferes with any sense of flow.

But those are little things. I hope you have a chance to make more forays into choral writing!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...